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How to respond to a woman on casual encounters

We all know that a man's odds of hearing back from a woman who posted to casual encounters are slim to none. For this reason, it's a good idea not to get too invested in your emails. I recommend that you don't agonize over each word, each turn of phrase, how to make every last thing you write be perfect. If you spend half an hour sweating over how to win this chick's heart, then it's going to be very hard on you if you don't hear back from her. It doesn't do to get attached before you even know her name.

How does this jive with my admonition to personalize your responses? Am I reversing my prior statements and encouraging the generic bulk-style response? By no means.

I suggest that you have a paragraph or two about yourself that you can cut and paste (or, if you're not the cut-and-paste type, a few things you can toss off in a conversational email without having to think too hard about it), and then write a personalized opener and closer that shows you read her ad and are interested in her, not just any woman who might have posted (even if you're interested in any woman who might have posted).

Don't take more than ten minutes in responding to any ad. Think of it as a conversation on the subway -- you have just a few minutes to strike up a conversation and find a connection before you arrive at your stop. Your goal is to get the number and fill in the innumerable blanks later, so don't get hung up on it until that opportunity arises.

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