ClueChick: real clues from a real chick

I've heard about this from the other side -- women who want to be single moms. Of course, there are sperm banks and so forth, but they are quite expensive, and also have lots of requirements for the mother to be allowed. (Many simply won't allow it. Some states even have laws against it!) And furthermore, most require the sperm be frozen for 6 months, while the donor checks out for AIDS, etc...but freezing sperm reduces its quality and if the woman has any fertility issues of her own, that might nix it.

So it is not surprising to me to see women seeking single motherhood the "natural" way. And I guess if there are women looking for this, there'd be men doing the same.

But not on "casual encounters". Not sure where the right place is, but that isn't it. Also if it were me, I'd want to look for a guy that had indicated he'd put some thought into the outcome. Do you plan on claiming paternity? Visitation? etc.

I know an older (50+) lesbian who has two grown children. She conceived one child through a male friend - he was aware and ok with the situation and he didn't play a father role. The second child was a purposeful one-night-stand with a guy she picked up in a bar with the express purpose of getting pregnant. And she did. First try. Of course, this was also pre-AIDS, so it wasn't as risky.

But yeah, I'm pretty baffled by these - how is it sexy to get someone pregnant and then have no contact later? I totally see the sexiness in having sex to conceive with someone who is going to stick around to share the rest of the experience.

Perhaps it's some kind of cave-man drive to reproduce no matter what??

how is it sexy to get someone pregnant and then have no contact later?

It's a kink some people see to have. There are web sites about it, stories written around the theme, etc. It must turn some people on. And like many kinks, probably hard to explain to everyone else, who doesn't get it and thinks it's bizarre.

I actually can understand this kink. The impregnation fantasy has always been hot to me. But, like some of my other kinky fantasies, it's one that's too dangerous on many levels (legal, emotional, involving another person nonconsensually (the child)) for me to consider actually pursuing, especially in the context of CE.

Maybe they're lying so that there's no argument about a condom?

It's one of those leftover urges from our ancestors, the whole procreation thing. I am female and get the urge to be pregnated as well.

Rebecca: The urge to be impregnated makes sense to me, on any number of levels (I've had some hot fantasies about this, myself), but it's hard for me to imagine taking it to Craig's List to actually enact. Somehow, it makes more sense to me from a woman's side of things, where she knows what she wants and has some control over her response. For a man to do it just strikes me as a major legal tangle, at least potentially. (Though a man could as easily come back after the fact and insist on shared custody or what have you, it simply seems far less likely than a woman insisting a man pay child support or the like.)

As a male who has this fantasy(damn near ruling my mind sometimes) I can relate. It's really just a primal drive that interacts with the cognitive side of the mind to imagine some very wild and vivid fantasies that seem more powerful than any other. I don't know if this explains much, but hope it helps..

Johnny

I've read some about this, but it's all been within a D/s context, where the man wants to impregnate the woman to further show his dominance over her. Like, she's being commanded to carry his child. Thus, "impregnating" her is something that he "does" to her, rather than a mutual decision to bring a new life into the world.

Now, I'm pretty open minded about fetishes and kinks, but I have to admit — this one makes me uncomfortable because bringing a baby into the world is such a huge event. But, then again, I guess that's why these folks find it so hot — it's extreme.

Mistress Maeve: Oh, no. That's... Yes, it's extreme, but, as you point out, it involves a baby! I'm all for extreme kinks and playing things out, but I'm also for getting the consent of all involved -- which you can't do with a child. Plus, and here's where my judgemental side comes in, that's a shitty dynamic to raise a child in. Yuck!