ClueChick: real clues from a real chick

In many social interactions, we use keys and codes to hint at what we mean without actually saying it. This usually works because we tend to spend time with people who share a common vocabulary. But when you're surfing the web to meet new people, that shared language doesn't necessarily apply.

This means that when you specify the kind of person you're looking for, it's worth taking a bit of time to spell out what you mean rather than rely on words that may mean significantly different things to different people. Some of my favorites of these are "fun" and "cool".

When I say I want someone fun, I mean someone who can keep up with me in conversation, will come up with some wild and crazy thing for us to do on a moment's notice (an impromptu skinny dipping outing? a trip to an amusement park?), or will enjoy the same sorts of movies I do. Someone else looking for someone fun might want a companion to the museum's latest show or a buddy to catch the local team's showing down at the neighborhood sports bar.

Similarly, cool, to me, means someone laid-back, who shares some of my important opinions, and who will like my friends. To you, a cool person may be wearing the right clothes or reading the right books.

So to say that I want someone fun and cool isn't useful, unless I spell out what that means. Hardly anyone thinks they're not fun and cool, at least in certain circumstances, after all. It doesn't hurt anyone not to spell it out, of course, but it'll save a bit of time and confusion, and it may help to target your ad or profile to the right audience in the first place.