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Dear, sweet IM boy

Open letter to IM boy:

Dear IM boy,

You certainly do seem quite nice, and I'm sure that you would be as fun in bed as you promise, but when I look at pictures of you, I can't help thinking of college boys (which you are) and how much I didn't really go for them even when I was in college. I know that it's not fair to judge someone just on his age, though, which is why I continued to chat with you after our first couple of emails.

You have, however, backed up my ageism, through your incessant insistence that if I would just let you drop by between classes, you're "sure we'd have fun." That was even okay in our early conversations, but now that I have told you, in no uncertain terms, that I have no interest in meeting you, I'm afraid your IMs are beginning to sound a tad... well... desperate.

Of course, it's great that you think I'm hot; I can't think of a woman who doesn't like to hear that, of course. And while it's true that I require my lovers to find me hot, that's actually only one of the things I look for in a partner, even a fuckbuddy type partner.

Perhaps contrarily, I like to think that the people I take to bed don't need me to take them to bed. I like to imagine that they could pick up someone else if it didn't work with me. I like to think they are choosing me, rather than needing me. And so, three months of forlorn IMs asking if I'm free does not work in your favor.

I do wish you luck in your future endeavors, and I encourage you to lay off the high pressure routine, for starters.

Distantly,
Cluechick

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