Finding women for nonstandard hookups on CL
But do you have any advice for or thoughts about postings outside the usual m4w or w4m? We're a happily-married couple who met on CL and who both like having sex with women ... So, as a single woman, speaking for the smarter set of single women who enjoy CL CE, what's your advice for the less-traditional posting categories? More specifically, what would make you, a smart, sexual, single woman, interested in trying something outside your normal category?
Obviously, not all smart, sexual women posting to CL are bi (or even if not identifying as bi, at least willing to have some bisexual experiences), but a lot of them are, and it doesn't hurt to approach them.
Personally, I love nontraditional hookups. A recent fling commented, "You seem pretty frisky!" and it's true, I am. And I like trying new things, including play with couples. But, simultaneously, I'm quite leery of couples posting to pick up chicks, and I'll explain why.
They fall, typically, into three categories:
First, there are the couples where the guy thinks it would be really hot to be with two women, and he's almost got his wife convinced. If I turn out to be just the thing, maybe he'll actually get some hot girl-on-girl action. Yuck.
Second, there are the couples where they want a third body, but without having another person. I had a couple explain to me that they'd love to get together, but they only kiss each other, and they don't do any penetrative play with the third person. So, basically, I'm there to watch them fuck and to lick their favorite spots. Uh, no.
Third, and the only ones I would even consider sleeping with, are the couples where both partners are actively seeking out a third person, and they want to have someone who's fully participating, not necessarily in the relationship, but certainly in the activities in the bedroom.
If you are in the third category, how do you signal that to a prospective fuckbuddy? For starters, have the woman in your couple do the initial contact. There's nothing that convinces me that she's really, truly interested like actually hearing it from her mouth (or fingers, as the case may be). If you've had prior experiences along these lines, talk about them, what worked well, and what didn't, etc. In general, the same sorts of things that get me interested in a guy will get me interested in any other combination that's up my alley: interesting, engaging, smart people who connect with me as more than simply a collection of holes.
