Saying what you mean in your ad or profile: hot
Sapiophile writes, in a comment, "Avoid describing yourself as "hot", no matter whether you think you are or not. Instead, focus on those things that you DO believe are attractive about yourself."
This is an excellent point, and one that goes back to the series I had in December on saying what you mean. "Hot" is another meaningless term, right? What I think is hot (hello, bignose!) may be unattractive to others, and vice versa.
In truth, it's not fair of me to criticize someone for describing himself as hot and then turning out not to be, because I have probably been guilty of that, myself. That is to say, I have quite a high opinion of my appearance, but I know that I'm not everyone's type (after all, who is?) This is one of the reasons that I definitely advocate having a reasonably good (and, perhaps more importantly, accurate) photograph of yourself to send to the object of your flirtation at some point in the lead-up to meeting. I do meet the occasional guy without a photo first, but it's always nice to exchange pics first.
One of the things that has been most entertaining for me about what men have said about my photos when I meet them is, "You look just like your picture!" Apparently, this is a surprise. You all won't be shocked to hear that I find the idea of sending an unrealistic photograph self-defeating. Honesty, honesty, honesty, folks. And not just because it's the best policy, but also because, hey, it's easier! Why make your life harder for yourself, anyway?
At any rate, describing yourself as attractive or hot or what-have-you isn't useful at all, because you don't know what the person at the other end of your statement thinks is attractive. Do yourself a favor and smooth the process by being more precise in your self-description. It's good to focus on your strengths, and equally important to be realistic about yourself.
