Sincerity: it matters
Yesterday, in my conference, someone brought up the issue of how important it is to be sincere in order to attract clients (no, really, this is my work conference), and I was struck by how true this is for dating as well. (See? Even when I'm working, I'm thinking about you all, my faithful readers. I thought about you while drinking a mojito after work, too.)
In many ways, the online dating scene is, more or less, a matter of marketing. You're the product, and you need to sell yourself. Or you're the institution and you need to attract clients. Or whatever riduculous metaphor strikes your fancy and makes you think of creative ways to make yourself stand out without looking ridiculous or using terms like "synergy" or "value-added".
Sincerity is a good way to make yourself appealing. I like it when a guy is sincere because I like it when I feel I can believe what someone is saying to me. I like to have the sense that his attraction to me is real. That makes it a compliment rather than an act or something that's all for show.
So I spent the afternoon thinking about what someone can do to show that he's sincere, and though I hate to admit it, I'm a bit stymied. I know it when I see it, but I don't know how to describe it and certainly not how to fake it.
On the other side of the coin, I also know when I'm really feeling sincere as opposed to when I'm just putting on a show. And when I pay attention to my internal state, to whether I'm sincerely feeling interest in what a fellow is saying, it tells me about my gut response to him. Sincerity is a clue not just to the person you're interacting with but to you, yourself.
Now that's added value!
