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What's the point?

What is your goal when you respond to a woman's profile or personal ad? Are you hoping that she'll respond and you'll have an interesting conversation? Would you like to get some naughty photos of her to fuel your solo play? Do you want to meet and see if you hit it off in person?

I've gathered, in my time in the online dating scene, that lots of people don't bother to stop and ask themselves these questions. This causes confusion, especially when you have two people who've failed to identify their motivations.

Ostensibly, we're all out there trying to meet people and hit it off, whether for a quick fuck or for the long road to "happily ever after." But, in practice, there are as many reasons for posting or responding to people as there are possible emails to send. You are more likely to get what you want if you know what you want.

So take some time to think about what you're after, both in terms of relationship type, intensity, style, and in terms of the sort of person you'd like to meet. This will help you to be clear when communicating about yourself with new people. Further, knowing what you want will help you to recognize it when you find it.

Self-knowledge: priceless.

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