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How picky is too picky in the online scene?

I've received several emails from men who have written to complain that the women they've met on CL aren't, for whatever reason, up to these men's standards of attractiveness. These emails never contain a photo, so I can't tell you if they're coming from men who, based purely on the shallow measure of a picture, would normally expect to pick up stunningly attractive women. At any rate, you can imagine how sympathetic I am to these complaints.

If you want to make it all the way to the bedroom by way of online hookups on CL or elsewhere, and you're getting to the point of actual email contact with a woman, and then you are declining her rather than the other way around, then you're in the lucky position of having more opportunities than you need. Be happy with that! But if you're in that situation and you complain about not getting laid enough, then it's possible that you're being too picky.

I define "too picky" as meaning that you are the hurdle that you can't get over in order to get what you want.

There are a lot of attractive women on CL, as well as unattractive women. Many of these women, both attractive and unattractive, may not be to your taste. They may be older than you normally like, or fatter, or taller, or more bald, or flatter-chested, or more avaricious. They may, on the other hand, be just what you're looking for. All of these things are determined by you and your particular inclinations.

I have no problem with people being picky -- men or women -- but I do have a problem with anyone thinking that this means the problem lies with anyone other than themselves.

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