Pre-meeting ponderings: the good girl/bad girl problem
It's Friday, and I, for one, am greatly looking forward to the weekend. I have two new prospects to meet, and, obviously, I'm hoping that'll go well. In particular, one of them, with whom I've been exchanging email for quite some time, should be an interesting meeting. But I'm a little concerned, and here's why:
I get the sense, based on some of his comments, that he thinks I'm very different from how I think I am. That is to say, I think I'm basically a smart, progressive, feminist type who happens to be enjoying casual involvements (including sex) for the time being. I'm not sure what he thinks I am, but while I gather that he buys the smart, progressive, feminist thing, I get the sense that the casual involvements bit confuses his image of me (and possibly any woman who does it).
Sometimes, in our emails, we connect very well; we have interesting conversations about any number of topics, and I have the feeling -- which is what I really like in the email stage of things -- that he's being present and interested in who I am, what I think, and what I'm about. Other times, and this is usually when we're talking about sex, he seems to forget all that and just get into the "let's fuck!" mindset.
Obviously, behind this dual persona could lurk a stalker-type, but, equally obviously, I rather doubt that, or I wouldn't be meeting him. Instead, I think I'm about to meet a guy who's struggling under society's preconceptions about "good" girls and "bad" girls. I, naturally, like to think I can be both. The question is this: can he wrap his head around that?
I'm one of those people who thinks that being slutty can be a good thing, in the right context. But I never like being thought a slut by someone who thinks it's an insult. So it'll be very interesting to see what vibe I get from him over coffee this weekend. You all, naturally, will be the first to hear how it went.
