Standing out: a double-edged blade
Dear Female I saw your ad on craigslist and I would very much like to meet you. I been trying to find someone for a while and getting nowhere fast. So I am just trying to find out are you real and do you meet men this way. I will gladly send a photo on a return email I am looking for someone who can keep up with my sexual appetite. I don't know what else to say except PLEASE OH GOD PICK ME!!!!!!! Have a great day thanks
It's tempting to put this up with no commentary at all, as it really stands on its own, but I have something to add, and now is as good a time as any.
It's entirely possible that this is this guy's best shot. He took some time and sat down and thought about how best to get a woman's attention. It's the capitalized bit that actually manages to do this, though, as I'm sure you noticed, it edges close to desperation.
Enthusiasm is a good thing. If someone responded to one of my ads with that level of enthusiasm and it seemed heartfelt, it would avoid that twist of desperation and make me consider responding. But because this is obviously a canned response, it just comes off as silly.
Take a step back from your email and imagine that the person receiving it will receive approximately 100 emails from men more or less like you. Do you stand out? That's the first step. The next step is to be sure you're standing out in a positive way. Standing out for being desperate or illiterate or rude obviously gets you nowhere, right?
I have to assume that the men writing me think that they'll hear back, or that they might, otherwise, why bother? So that makes me wonder, if you're going to bother to write back, why not take the effort to put together something that might sell you?

Comments
*blink* "Dear Female"?
Do people say that often?
Posted by: Cos | February 3, 2006 2:06 AM
Happily, no, that's a first that I can recall. Stands out, though, doesn't it?
Posted by: ClueChick | February 3, 2006 8:41 AM
See, now, I might actually respond to this. I have an idea that this response is parody, and as such, it is pretty funny. Try reading the response again with a mental image of his tongue in his cheek and I think you'll find it much better written. It would become apparent within a single email response whether it was parody or...ah...unintentional self-parody.
Posted by: sapiophile | February 5, 2006 8:42 AM