ClueChick: real clues from a real chick

I was going to talk about politics again tonight, but then I decided it was time for something a little more fun.

What you all don't know about me is that I haven't always been unrepentantly slutty. In fact, for many years, I was the very picture of modesty and so-called proper behavior. Even through most of college, I wasn't interested in dating the sorts of prospects I had, so... I didn't. I didn't start having sex until my 20s, and as of a year ago, I had slept with a grand total of four people (unless you count fisting, in which case, five).

So, what brought me to my current status as a vocal proclaimer of casual sex?

I had, a couple of months prior, broken up with a long-term boyfriend, and I had absolutely no desire to get involved in a serious way with anyone new. I had always figured that I just wasn't cut out for casual sex, and I was fine with that. But one slow night at home, I logged in on OkCupid and found a flirtatious note from a local guy. I responded in kind, and our exchange turned rather steamy. We used the IM feature on OkC for a while, then moved to AIM, making suggestive comments all the while.

Well, what do you know, but this flirtation got me rather worked up, and as chance would have it, Mr. Flirtation lived just a few blocks from me. With the raucous encouragement of some of my friends (who were in on the whole transaction in another chat window), I decided to go for it. After all, if it turned out badly, then I'd know for sure casual sex wasn't for me, and at least I might have some fun in learning the lesson.

So, he came over, we had a fairly fun, naughty time, and he left. I didn't feel dirty. I didn't feel regretful. I didn't feel any of those things that I thought I might. In fact, I felt downright smug.

Never having done such a thing before, I didn't know the post-hookup etiquette. I dropped him a note saying thanks, and I didn't hear back from him. At first, this made me grumpy, but even that grumpiness wasn't enough to sour me on the experience. And, in the end, I can look back and say that it's good that it didn't turn into a regular thing. He was ok, but not great, and looking back, I think this conversation sums up just how much we had in common:

[Entering my room:]
Him: Wow, you have a lot of books.
Me: Uhh. I guess I do. [I don't actually think I have that many books, but ok.]
Him: Have you read them all?
Me: ...
Him: *starts to take off my shirt*
Me: *pretends we didn't have that conversation*

Nevertheless, I'm grateful to him for not being an axe murderer or completely skeevy or any number of other things that could well have turned me off casual sex forever. And the rest, as they say, has been a really good fucking year.