ClueChick: real clues from a real chick

I know this is a little off topic for you, but I'm married, my wife and I like to have threesomes, but mostly with other men. I'm bi, but our guys don't have to be... whatever works is good! Even though there are lots of men looking for hookups out there, we sometimes have trouble finding the real deal. Any tips?

Gosh, I have to admit, there's part of me that's shocked to hear that you're having trouble picking up men. I mean, sure, as a couple picking up men, you're limiting your field a bit in comparison to say, my field, which is pretty wide open, but even so, there are an awful lot of men out there, many of whom are open to somewhat, ah, unusual experiences and encounters.

That said, on the other hand, a lot of guys are pretty freaked out at the idea of getting naked with another man, even if there's no suggestion that there might be contact between them. Because of the all-or-nothing view of homosexuality, especially male homosexuality, even a whiff of comfort with other men in a sexual context can strike fear into the hearts of many. Lame? Absolutely. But real? Yes, that, too.

I suggest that you alternate between mentioning your bisexuality and not mentioning it, in different ads. In my experience, picking up men for MMW play, those men who are interested in a bisexual sort of encounter will mention it on their own, even if they've never done anything like that before. If not, then on those occasions that you don't raise bisexual play as a possibility, you shouldn't mention it, either. If, in fact, you're happy with either type of encounter, you can cast a wider net by not pushing that fear button.

On the other hand, part of me wonders how much fun it really would be to have an encounter with someone who might flip out to know the rest of the story. Sometimes, patience is a better bet.