If you've got to pay for sex, go somewhere other than casual encounters
Okay, I am full of pet peeves, and today I'm going to talk about one that I've mentioned before: Men offering money on the casual encounters board on Craig's List. Here's a real, yet also extreme, example:
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ - m4w
Can any pretty girl come over and play with me? Name your donation. We will have fun.
Now, here it is, guys. If you want to pay for a hooker, pay for a hooker. There's even an erotic services category on Craig's List if you're too shy to get in your car and troll the street in a less-than-shiny neighbhorhood in your city. (And I'll admit, I can't blame you if you don't want to go that route.) But don't fool yourself into thinking you're going to be getting anything but a prostitute if you're posting to CE and your main hook is the dollar signs in your ad.
The ones that drive me really crazy are the ones that say something about looking for a non-pro, but still offer money. I think they might be confused about the definition of professional.
I don't actually have a problem with prostitution, on the face of it. Of course, it's a dreadful system as it's practiced in most systems, but far be it from me to tell someone they can't sell their body, and if you can find someone who's willing to fuck you for money, and you have the money for it, and you're not tricking yourself into thinking it's anything but a business arrangement that happens to involve sex, then, hey, go, you.
But CE is not a bulletin board for prostitutes and johns. Rather, it's a place for both men and women to seek out and, one hopes, find some hot fun with a likeminded companion, whether for an evening, a week, a month, or more.
But more than being annoyed at these ads simply because they're miscategorized and spam, I'm also annoyed at the mentality they represent. These are men who think that women are objects, to be bought -- or at least rented -- because they -- the men, that is -- are finding it hard to woo a woman using their own charms. There are a lot of unattractive men out there who have somehow managed to find and interest women through any number of means, and money is certainly a traditional lubricant for the otherwise less-than-appealilng. And, of course, there are lots of very attractive men who, whether through shyness or disinterest or who-knows-what-else.
Nevertheless, the blatant offering of money in exchange for sex in the context of what should be a money-free transaction bugs me. It's sleazy and offensive, and, frankly, just plain lame. Don't do it.
Comments
I have no idea why the men on CE are offering to pay for sex. It is possible, as you say, that they are unable or unwilling to find free sex.
However, like everything else that comes with a large load of social baggage, paying (or being paid) for sex can hold a lot of erotic power.
When I see "no pros" my guess is that the poster is saying "I want someone else for whom the exchange of money for sex is an erotic fantasy, rather than someone who actually makes their living doing this". ("Profession" means a career or livelihood, according to the dictionary, not involving money.)
I am among those who find the money-for-sex thing to be arousing. I've never done it, but I've fantasized about it.
So I'm wondering why it is okay for people with other unusual fantasies to seek out likeminded partners on CE, but not people who would find paying someone for sex hot. Or, for that matter, where a better place would be to find someone who shares that fantasy (which is different than finding someone who is willing to take your money).
Posted by: sapiophile | March 14, 2006 7:39 AM
I agree with the Chick. While I have nothing against paying for services I do resent the highjacking of the CE section. Esp. the "Oh I am a poor college student trying to make ends meet". Maybe the financial aid dept at NYU should have a bulletin board? If I thought they were actually in college as Saph said maybe it would have some appeal. It is hard enough to find an interesting woman for casual fun w/o all the spam, cam ads, $$$ types.
Posted by: Tug | March 14, 2006 11:31 AM
Tug: My comments were not about the women posting looking to be paid, but the men posting looking to pay. I don't think those postings are frequent enough to be considered a "hijacking". Women posting are a different matter, as I'm quite sure that 99.76% of them ARE from pros and the ads are probably posted by bots: that's just spam.
It doesn't do much good to rail here about whore spam. It is just an unpleasant fact of life, like smog and black flies. They have no reason NOT to post, just as spammers have no motive not to fill your inbox with crap.
Posted by: sapiophile | March 15, 2006 7:42 AM
Yes Saph you are right again. Maybe I missed the point of the thread. I'm sure there are some women AND men who get off on being paid/paying for sex. As far as spam goes, maybe if I knew more about the subject I could fill their inboxes with crap by proxy. LOL
Posted by: Tug | March 15, 2006 7:37 PM
I just noticed this post has an unclosed i tag (on the line with $$$) so all the posts below it appear in all italics.
Posted by: Cos | October 11, 2006 9:04 PM
Cos: That didn't show up as a problem for my browser, so you should tell me if it's fixed.
Posted by: Cluechick | October 11, 2006 10:36 PM