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Let's talk about body language

When I meet a guy for the first time, he'd probably be happy to have a guide to my body language and what it's saying. Since I haven't yet found out a sly and smooth way to give this sort of thing to people before I meet them, I figure the next best thing is to post it here and hope it helps someone, somewhere.

I usually start with a handshake, unless we've been talking online a lot, in which case, I may start with a hug. Neither of these should be taken as particularly indicative of anything, though; pay more attention to how I say goodbye at the end of the meeting.

If I maintain a lot of eye contact when we're talking, I'm enjoying the conversation and feeling very connected with it. The more my eyes are straying -- to your hair, your hands, the pictures on the wall -- the more my mind is wandering. (My eyes always do some straying during a conversation, as do most people's, so this is a matter of degree.) You're probably okay if, instead of looking at your eyes, I'm looking at your mouth.

If you touch me and I smile or blush, you're good.

If you touch me and I give you a pinched smile, or don't seem to respond at all, stop touching me, because I don't like it.

If you touch me and I move away, pay your bill and leave, because I'm about to.

If I touch you on the shoulder or arm, I like you and I'm trying to send you that signal.

If I touch you on the hand or knee, I'm ready to take you home.

If you tell a really lame joke and I laugh, it's probably a good sign, but I laugh easily, so maybe not. If you tell a good joke and I don't laugh, though, it's a bad sign.

If my cell phone rings and I ignore it, I'm not expecting an important call and I think it's rude to take phone calls when i'm on a date. If I take the call without explaining that it's unavoidable, I'm bored and I'm looking forward to ending our date. If I make a call, it's not going anywhere.

When we're saying goodbye, if I hug you, you'll definitely get another date. If I shake your hand, I have to think about it, but probably not. If I avoid shaking your hand by gathering up my stuff, we're not going to see each other again.

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