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What about the boy looking for a threesome? (MMW, that is)

On Monday, I wrote about couples looking for men for threesomes, and in response, I received this query:

What if i'm a guy and I want to find another guy and a girl to hook up with? What's the best way to find other people who are into this?

Well, first off, you probably won't have trouble finding a man, because, well, as I've previously remarked, there are lots of men out there looking to play. The trick, with regards to picking up men for your purposes, may be in finding a guy who wants to play with men and women. Straight guys don't want to get in bed with boys, and gay dudes shudder at the thought of getting naked with a girl. So, you have to find that rare type: the bisexual. Or the heteroflexible, which may be more likely. Or the gay boy who isn't skeeved by tits. In general, I find that people have a hard time with that gray area in the middle, and especially men are caught in this bind.

(Side note: if you think that only women are hurt by "the patriarchy", think long and hard about just how inflexible and limiting images of male sexuality are in popular culture. If liberation means that we all get to live in ways that honestly reflect our inner selves and desires, then it's clear that men have a long road ahead of them before they're able to break free of rigid images of the manly man ideal.)

As for finding a woman, of course, you know this is going to be a challenge. Because women are fewer and farther between in the casual scene to begin with, and then, on top of that, you're looking for a woman who's open to something that's slightly off the norm. But I'll tell you a cheery little secret: lots of women fantasize about getting with two guys. And lots of the women who are already inclined to go looking for casual encounters are probably the types who are sexually open enough that they're the sort who just might be interested in some hot boy on boy on girl (or boy on girl on boy, or girl on boy on boy, or... well, you get the idea) action. So, in fact, simply by looking for this sort of thing, you're setting a "hook" in your ad that is likely to help you in your search.

I would recommend that you try posting several variations of your ad. You may find that this works best in a couple of steps: first meet one, then together look for the third. Or, you may find that you meet up with people who like the idea of getting with a totally new combination of people. You never know. But, oddly, I'm more optimistic about your chances than those of a regular guy looking for a straight-up boy-girl thing. I definitely want to hear back from you on how it goes!

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