Insertibles Guy: one that got away
As you may have gathered, I'm pretty up-front about sex and sexuality. Especially after having done the casual sex thing for a while, I'm even more difficult to nonplus with regards to odd interests and tastes. As I mentioned in yesterday's response to wotw's question, his comment about liking to stick weird things in women made me think of a fellow who ran up against my forthrightness in an unfortunate way.
Let me set the stage:
It's midsummer, and the weather is hot and sticky. This causes me to spend a lot of time lounging around my house as close to naked as I can manage and not feel icky sitting on the furniture. And then, naturally, spending all that time in states of undress causes my mind to drift to sexual topics fairly constantly. So, I'm in this state when this fellow IMs me to strike up a conversation. He liked my profile on some dating site or other and in that profile, I'd said something about being open-minded.
This, naturally, led us to talking about fantasies, and as he got comfortable, he told me that he gets off on thinking about fucking women with weird objects: the weirder the better. Now, the way he's talking about this makes me think that he thinks this is really strange. I, on the other hand, happen to know that a) it's not at all unusual and b) I think it's hot. So I say as much to him, which leaves him completely flabbergasted and at a loss for words. He stuttered a little something and signed off.
A couple of days later, he was, of course, back, and we talked more about his fantasies, what was interesting to me, what wasn't, etc. Now, something that you all may or may not do, but I definitely do, is that I give people nicknames. I'm especially prone to doing this before someone is totally "real" to me. That is, early in getting to know someone, before she or he is fully fleshed out in my head, I create a nickname. This is often related to their work, or some interest they have, or some other characteristic. Some of the nicknames you might hear about down the line are: The Cop, Baseball Boy, The Brazilian. And, of course, you all know about Mr. The View.
At any rate, this fellow was, naturally, "Insertibles Guy". This was before I'd started this blog, but not before I'd begun entertaining the idea of writing a book or blog about my adventures, and I mentioned the idea to him. He thought it was a great idea, and he asked if I'd write about him. Of course! I told him, unless that would bother him? He said it would be fine, but only if I didn't use his name. Oh, no, I assured him, everyone would have nicknames, anyway.
And that's when I told him what his nickname was. Now, I have to say, I wasn't saying it to mock him for his interest. In fact, it was fun to be talking to someone who was just beginning to explore some of his stranger fantasies. However, I overlooked the fact that, as a newly minted explorer, he was not actually totally comfortable with his kinks, and he blanched when I told him. Via IM, he gave me one of those blushing emoticons (I didn't know, before that, that there was a smiley that blushes!) and signed off immediately.
Sadly, I didn't hear from him again. The lesson for me: Just because someone can talk about their secret desires doesn't mean he's ready to face them head-on. Which is too bad, because if he'd stuck around, odds are good that we could have knocked a few items off his "to do" list.
