Make conversation count when picking up chicks
I try hard not to pull the, "Tell me about you!" card unless I'm really stumped. I know that when I'm put on the spot with no seeding topic helping to crystalize my thoughts, I can end up paralyzed. "About me??" I'll think in a panic. "What about me? How I look? What I read? Where I grew up? My shower routine? What??" Then, I will, as unobtrusively as possible, sidle away from the conversation in search of something less stressful, like directing traffic in downtown Baghdad. Therefore, I'm sympathetic to the guys who freeze up in the face of similarly open-ended queries from me.
I will point out, however, that I only go to the broad and open question section of my trusty getting-to-know-you handbook after more specific questions have been dodged:
Me: So, what do you do for fun?
Him: Oh, you know, I like all kinds of stuff.
Me: Like what?
Him: Whatever, you know! Just whatever sounds good at the time.
Me: [grr]
Or:
Me: Tell me a bit about what you're into!
Him: I like sex.
Me: Oh, yeah? What about it?
Him: Well, it's, uh... sex. And sex is hot, so I like it. Yeah!
Me: Mmhmm. So, what would you say your style is, or what sorts of things get you going?
Him: Hey, chicks, man, they're great. I really like sex with women.
Me: Okay... [backing away]
The early stages of getting to know someone are tough. And to pull it off, both parties have to be willing to share the work. Ideally, you'll take turns asking questions, and when it's your turn to answer a question, you've got to, oh, I don't know, answer the question, perhaps even with actual information.
I'm not asking what you like in bed just to kill time, after all. If you give me the right answer, as soon as we're done talking, I'll drag you to my bed and rip your clothes off (or let you rip off mine). But if your answer makes me want to claw your eyes out with frustration, you can be sure that the only one getting any in my bed that night will be me. And, of course, my trusty Hitachi, which never lets me down.
Comments
So what about this....?
This problem comes up repeatedly. It's a first date. We hardly know each other. She asks: "So what do you do for fun?". The honest answer is: "Stick weird foreign objects up women, set people on fire, host (with invaluable help from invaluable friends) large get-togethers for sexually open people, etc."
I do usually get around to telling them about this stuff, usually on about, oh, the second or third date or so. But the first five minutes of the first date seems a little soon.
On the one hand, this stuff takes up a lot of my time, and crowds out a lot of other things I might do for fun---so if I don't mention this, I'm sort of at a loss for an answer. I end up saying someting really stupid like "Oh, you know, I like all kinds of stuff."
Or I say something like "I read a lot", which is moderately accurate (actually, "I buy a lot of books" is more accurate), at least as a matter of fact, but grossly inaccurate, I think, as far as conveying information about my funloving nature.
Help me, Cluechick! How do I answer this question?
Posted by: wotw | May 9, 2006 11:46 AM
wotw: How about "Most of my hobbies are of the non-PG rated variety and should probably wait until we know each other a little better to discuss *eyebrow waggle*"?
Posted by: sapiophile | May 9, 2006 2:32 PM