picking up hot fat chicks
Cluechick is out of town for a bit so I promised I throw in a couple bits of "worth what you paid for it" advice in her absence.
Today's topic is: fat chicks. I'm one. Or, if you prefer, a BBW. Thick. Juicy. Zaftig. Plump. Curvy. Round. Voluptuous. Pick your euphemism, I'm a big sexy gal.
Now I'll admit upfront that I have no idea if my experience is typical for other hot, horny, casual-sex-loving BBWs, so this all might be a total waste of bits. But here are a few thoughts on the topic.
- Sex is hottest with a partner whom I find sexy and who also finds me sizzling hot. If you think I'm hot, that is a big point in your favor.
- On the flip side, if my body is not to your taste, that's fine, but then don't waste my time. Seriously, you would think this should go without saying, but there are horny guys who really prefer thin women, but they aren't getting any, so they'll settle for anyone with holes in all the right places, so they cast a wide net. When I detect one of these, he's a goner: my dance card is too full to let people to fill a slot who aren't really into me.
- To set yourself aside from one of those losers, let me know you like my body. If you are responding to a personal ad, you've seen my picture. If you are responding on CL-CE, I've described myself. Saying something specific about your attraction to my body ("I love your picture, especially the awesome curve of your hips. I love a curvy woman") lets me know that 1) you aren't a "holes in the right places" loser, and 2) you have absorbed the fact that I'm fat so there won't be any awkward surprises when and if we meet.
- BUT...there's a danger on the other extreme, too. There are BBW-fetishists who don't so much love women-who-are-fat as they love FAT-that-happens-to-be-attached-to-a-woman. I don't know how other large women feel about the fat fetishists but it is not my cup of tea. As much as I want you to enjoy my body, I want to be a person, first, NOT an archetype, a charicature or a walking flesh-mound. A few well placed compliments are good; going on and on at length about how much you LOVE my body and you want to touch it and lick it and feel my weight on you and grab my fat in your hands and squeeze, not so much -- I'm going to start thinking you don't care what's between my ears, as long as there's plenty on my bones. My fat is just what's under my skin, and not specifically an erogenous zone. If you are one of those guys who (I am SO not making this up) want to fuck my fat...? Move on.
- Don't make the dreaded mistake of assuming that "fat" is an insult. I'm fat, I know it, and I think I'm damn attractive. I don't need to apologize and I don't need you to either. I can't tell you how many conversations I have that go like this: "blah blah blah as a fat chick blah blah..." "Oh, you aren't fat, you've gorgeous?" "Um, dude, I'm fat. You didn't notice? I'm ALSO gorgeous." "You're just curvy. Today's standard of beauty is so artificially thin, you are just where you should be." "Yes, I'm fine with where I am, but where I am is one hundred pounds over the insurance tables, so let's not play word games, okay?"
- One hint that I'm a pity fuck and you are going to be watching my big ass waving at you from a distance. Or, depending on how I'm feeling that day, nursing a broken jaw.
99% of picking up a big girl is just like picking up a skinny one. The other 1%? Well, I think my main squeeze is just perfect that way: he doesn't lust after a specific body type but instead looks to all types of women to find the rare one who can be a treat for his eyes, his body and his mind. And then he lets her (well, me, anyway) know exactly how hot she is on all fronts.
Comments
I don't have a BBW fetish, but fat chicks have one, or two rather, thing skinny chicks will never have. Large NATURAL breasts, and/or hips you can actually hold on to.
Plus, they are generally just nicer, more intelligent, and easier to talk to. Sure you can hook up, but if you want to talk about something for more than 5 minutes, you need someone that has something going on upstairs.
Posted by: Karma | May 18, 2006 1:15 PM
No doubt the thin chicks will be protesting any second now that you can't predict the quality of someone's grey matter by the size of their body. I'd have to agree, but I'll let them speak for themselves.
Posted by: sapiophile | May 18, 2006 1:21 PM
Excellent!
I love your confidence and your attitude - no one should have to date/meet one of those "holes-in-the-right-places" guys, maybe that would force them to grow up.
Posted by: Shay | May 18, 2006 3:37 PM
I used to be one of those skinny hot chicks. You actually have to develop some amount of skill at deciphering whether a man is interested in anything other than arm candy when you ARE arm candy. It was fun being arm candy, I must admit -- and often it was actually a relief that I didn't have to WORK at impressing anyone with my brains or personality, because I knew darned well they were largely interested in something else entirely and I was perfectly okay with that, for the most part. (It was even hilarious when a boy toy & I, after 3 years of being each other's occasional chewtoys, actually had a conversation about something other than sex -- and had the mutual discovery that the other was actually *gasp* intelligent!)
It certainly wasn't fun being automatically labelled by virtually every woman, before I even opened my mouth or glanced at their boyfriends, as a "man-stealer" or otherwise some kind of threat to her. My experience has been that women are far more likely to stereotype other women, and be nasty & back-stabbing about it, than men are. (But oddly enough, all my women friends who've stood the test of time are BBWs. Then again, most of them are polyamorous and/or secure in their romantic relationships, so that might not mean anything in particular.)
After gaining weight in my thirties, going from a size 7 to a size 18, I don't get ogled (or laid) nearly so often. That's irritating, but I know if I want it to change, I have to make those changes happen. I just find it interesting that people who didn't know me when I was slender have no trouble believing, very soon after meeting me, that I'm intelligent & have an interesting personality. That certainly didn't happen when I was 130 lbs!
Posted by: Lil | May 22, 2006 6:19 AM
Hi ClueChick. Why not post a pic on here so we can see how beautiful you really are?
Posted by: DJ | May 27, 2006 9:17 PM
DJ - I believe this post was written and posted by sapiophile, not CC. But I can personally vouch for how stunningly beautiful each of these women are on a number of levels. Really.
Posted by: ghislaine | May 28, 2006 8:34 PM