Deal breakers in early flirtations with guys I meet online
A while back, I asked people to ask me things they'd be curious to know about, and Lil wrote wondering about deal breakers in serious and casual relationships. I'll start with talking about deal breakers even before I get to the relationship stage.
There are a few:
I won't fuck guys who are cheating on someone in order to fuck me. It makes me feel yucky and I don't like it. (Yucky is obviously very different from naughty, which is hot.)
I don't do guys who smoke (cigarettes).
I won't even talk about sex with a guy who gives me a hard time about condom use.
It won't get as far as talking about condoms if a guy can't write coherently and in a way that doesn't make me feel like he thinks I'm an object for his pleasure and convenience rather than a person with wants, opinions and interests of my own.
No doubt I could come up with some others, but those are the bare bones ones that leap to mind when I think about the hurdles a guy has to pass before I'll take him seriously as a prospect.
Comments
here's one for me:
- he disses other women ("My ex-wife was such a lousy lay, I want someone better" or "You sound much nicer than all the other losers on here"), it shows a lack of respect that hints that in a moment I could be the one getting called a loser.
Posted by: sapiophile | June 9, 2006 9:56 PM
Actually, more generally, I'm likely to circular file any guy who does a lot of complaining. I want a guy who is positive and upbeat. I hate people who are perpetually negative. Sure, you got problems, and if we become friends I'll want to hear about them, but put your most cheerful face forward on first meeting. And really, I'm here to get laid, not be a therapist. So I toss out the ones that are all "my job sucks" and "my crazy ex-wife sucks" and "this damn town sucks" and "this that and the other sucks".
Posted by: sapiophile | June 9, 2006 10:00 PM
I would somewhat tend to agree with sapiophile about negativity...but for me it is beause that is a signal that they might be less than stable and I have no interest in a CE coming by and boiling one of my pets or whatnot.
That being said, I tend to be a little more forgiving to women who complain about dating or about meeting people or things in that ilk, since I agree with them that it can be very hard to find decent, normal people to play with.
I completely agree with what the Chick says about guys who argue about condom use. If they are into risky behavior like that they have lots of other issues going on. And I fully support her when she says that the guy has to treat her as a person rather than as a vagina to masturbate with. For me, the whole purpose of a CE is because I want to be with another human being, not some advanced male sex toy.
Posted by: B | June 10, 2006 9:39 AM