Meeting a stranger who turns out to be someone you know
I had a new-to-me experience in meeting people online last week: I met someone I already know.
It's a little surprising, actually, that in the course of more than a year of fairly actively pursuing hookups, this is the first time I've had someone I know (and have flirted with) answer my ad. Actually, that may not be true, because I didn't recognize his email address, since he (cleverly) was using an anonymous address through hotmail. For all I know, lots of guys I know have written me but not passed the bar of people who get a response, or have heard back from me, realized who I am, and decided they didn't want to deal with someone they know in negotiating casual sex.
That last sounds funny, but it turns out I'm having that reaction, myself. I can have a great time in the context of a friends-with-benefits sort of thing with someone I already know as a friend. And I can enjoy developing either a fling or a fwb with someone new. But people in a middle ground, acquaintances, are a whole different story. I find that they know too much about me (and/or my social sphere) for me to be totally "yeah, whatever" with them, but not enough for me to be able to open up and be relaxed.
I've run into this hesitation on my part in other contexts of information sharing (i.e., I don't care what strangers know about me, and my friends basically know everything, but people I know socially are the ones I wouldn't want to find out about this, that or the other.) But this is, fascinatingly, the first time I've encountered it specifically with regards to personal ads. It makes an interesting (I hope) blog entry, but beyond that, I think I'd've been just as happy to skip it.
Though, if you're that hot guy I've been lusting after, I'd be willing to make an exception if you respond to my ad. Write now!
