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Your picture speaks a thousand words, not all of them good

One of the most common mistakes guys make in trying to pick up a woman online is that they have crappy pictures. I know that we'd all like to think that we're beyond the superficial is-he-hot level of attraction and interest, but that's bull pucky. I, and every woman out there is just as shallow and superficial as all the guys, and we're looking to pick people up who we find attractive.

Now, unlike in a bar or at the library or in the supermarket, where I can check a guy out, see how he moves, how he flips his hair back, how he gracefully deposits a pound of chicken giblets into his cart, when I'm meeting guys online, my visual first impression is his photograph. Some guys are more photogenic than others, but, really, it's a rare guy who captures my interest enough that I'll go to the effort of meeting him without having a photo exchange first.

In fact, because the two guys I've met without seeing their photos first turned out to be very unappealing, I'm even less likely to try that again now than I was early on in my online adventures, which is too bad.

But I'm not necessarily talking about your looks. I'm talking about what your photo says about you.

If you're a tiny little figure 30 feet away from the camera, your photo is as good as worthless. I can't see what you look like, and I'm now annoyed because I've strained my eyes peering at the screen hoping the picture will zoom in for me. This photo says you don't want me to know what you look like.

If your picture is all grainy and dim, again, I can't tell what you look like. The impression here is that you never leave your house, have taken a bad picture with your cameraphone, and might be a vampire. Not good.

If your picture shows you with stringy hair combed over badly and is also blurry, you're telling me something, even if you don't mean to.

If you want to do the online dating thing, expect to be asked for a picture. And assume that the recipient of the picture will assume that you're sending pictures of you looking your best. Then rethink the picture you're sending in light of what else it might be telling her.

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