ClueChick: real clues from a real chick

I've talked in the past about my feelings on honesty: It's important. From my point of view, it's the right thing to do in most situations, and certainly in a relationship that you want to last, whether on a casual basis or on a more intimate one. Of course, the more intimate you want to be, the more important the honesty is, because, after all, if you're not being honest, how can the intimate relationship really be what it is?

But even in casual relationships, honesty is important if only so that you can feel good about yourself, and, perhaps more to the point, because it's easier. As I've said before and will, no doubt, say again, part of the reason for me to be honest, in general, is that it's a hell of a lot less work. I don't have to keep track of who thinks I've been doing X, Y or Z if, in fact, I've only been doing and thus talking about X.

Honesty comes into play early on: if you're looking for something particular in a casual encounter, being up front with that is good. One of my weirdest hookups was a guy who made like he wanted to be toppy and when he showed up, he really wanted me to push him around. Now, I can get off on either of these things, but, well, I do a lot better when I can set my expectation/anticipation meter to fit what I'll actually be doing.

Honesty counts beyond that, though, too: It's important to present yourself honestly. Aside from anything particular that you say, if your email or ad makes you sound like someone you're not, either in tone or attitude, that almost always comes through (though not always always, obviously) and it will limit your options. If I get that skeevy feeling of "this guy isn't what he's suggesting"... you can be sure I won't be getting together with him.

Do yourself a favor and take the easy road: be honest.