The joys and pains of butt sex
Yesterday was ass day here in Cluechickland: I had some friends over, and they gave me the fantastic compliment of saying that I have the Platonic ideal of an ass. Nothing makes me happy like ridiculously overstated compliments, so, naturally, I had to buy them all drinks. It was a blast. And in the afternoon, one of my favorite lovers, a fellow who responded to my very first CL ad, ever, came over and we had a great date, focusing on (as you might have guessed) anal sex.
Anal sex is the new big thing, apparently, and every third guy posting on CL seems to be looking to get some. Although what I'm about to tell you won't necessarily help you get to the point where you get to try it, I hope it will help you should you manage to get to that point on your own:
Anal sex is not like vaginal sex. The primary way this comes into play is that you're probably accustomed to, when a woman is turned on from lots of hot foreplay, putting on a condom and going to town. That's great for vaginal sex, but you're missing a couple of crucial steps when it comes to anal sex:
First, lube. Buy it, use it, love it. Anal sex is probably possible without it, but it would be excruciating. Don't do it.
Second, and equally important, warmup. Unlike a cunt, which is designed for penis-sized and -shaped objects to enter it, the ass is pretty much geared to expell somewhat more malleable objects.
I can't tell you how many of my hookups have involved a lot of fun fucking only to be followed by a clumsy and inexpert attempt to switch from one orifice to another. This is not the way to go about it. If you're among the hordes of people wanting to try anal sex, or who've tried it an want to do more of it, you need to make sure your partner is interested, and then you've got to approach it like a project. A fun project, but a project nonetheless.
Yesterday's fuck fuck pal is the first guy in ages who knew what he was doing, and I was reminded that, in fact, I like anal sex, when it's done right. You don't have to be an expert, but you should at least know the basics of the anatomy involved. Otherwise, you risk your one shot being your only shot.
Of course, I know lots of you would also like me to point out that anal sex is one of the fun ways for men and women to play with the boy getting penetrated. That's another fun thing about it! If you want that kind of hookup, bring your own toy, or be sure your lover has something appropriate.
And always remember: Lube. Warmup. It's worth it.
Also, it doesn't hurt to put down a towel.
Comments
I've always been wildly curious on how many "real" people do anal sex. I mean, personally I love it, but when I look at porn vids, it is portrayed as SUCH a big deal, it makes me wonder if in the rest of the world, maybe it's not so common. Sort of like deepthroating is treated, and of course, in the real world, deepthroating is comparatively rare compared to mouth-only oral sex.
Posted by: sapiophile | July 27, 2006 7:05 PM
CC says, "First, lube. Buy it, use it, love it. Anal sex is probably possible without it, but it would be excruciating. Don't do it. "
Hmm... while I wholeheartedly agree that anal sex is BEST when lube is generously applied, ime, it isn't necessarily painful when not. If there's been plenty of warmup with my own natural lubrication and he starts out by lubing himself up in my cunt, well... it's usually just fine. If vigorous fucking is going to take place, then, yeah.. lube is an absolutely requirement in my book.
Posted by: ghislaine | July 27, 2006 7:31 PM
Why stop with the commentary there? Go slow and use lube you say, and yes I already know that. But what I would like to know, as a guy, is how it feels for you. What kind of headspace does it put you in?
Posted by: Rob | July 30, 2006 8:25 PM