Logistics of out-of-town hookups
I posted last month about the joys of the out of town hookup, and I received a couple of questions about that sort of arrangement.
First, how do I protect my valuables?
This, of course, is an issue at home, too, and I'll admit that I'm actually pretty lax about this. I don't tend to think of guys who are looking for casual sex as big into thievery, but, on the other hand, you never know, right? At home, I make sure that my valuables aren't sitting out in plain sight. I actually have to admit that my room is a little on the messy side, and I think that probably makes it harder for someone who might otherwise be inclined to take advantage of something sitting in plain sight to do so. Also, I rarely leave a guy alone anywhere in my house for more time than it takes me to run to the bathroom, and I wouldn't unless I knew him well enough to have an ongoing arrangement with him.
In a hotel, I'm probably better off, since most of the hotels where I stay have safes, and that's where I put my wallet and anything else valuable I might be carrying with me on that trip. I suppose a guy might run off with my business clothes, but it would be hard for me to get too upset about that!
The second question was how do I decide where to meet people when it's not my "home turf"?
It's true that when I'm at home, I know the neighborhoods and I know where I'll be safe at the time of day I'm meeting my potential hookup. I also know the cafes and bars that I like to visit, whereas, when I'm out of town, I'm going on someone else's say-so. As a rule, I like to use my hotel's bar or lounge, if it has one. This has two advantages: I don't have to venture out on the town in an unknown neighborhood, and if I like the guy, we can easily go up to my room.
There have been two times when this plan wouldn't work. Once, I was in a hotel with no lounge, and the other time, there was a very nice lounge, where many of my company's clients were enjoying an after-dinner drink. In both of these cases, I'm afraid I just lazy-ed out of the hookup. In the case of the hotel with no lounge, I'd already been in contact with a couple of potential guys before going to the hotel. Once I got there and saw that I'd have to find another option (and that my hotel was in an uninteresting business area), I decided I was more interested in watching reruns of Law & Order than trying to manage logistics, so I emailed my guys to say it wasn't going to work. In the case of the hotel with lots of clients, I knew that was going to be the case, and I simply chose not to make any hookup arrangements.
The truth is, I'm lazy, so if a hookup is going to be too much work, I'm unlikely to bother with it, especially for an out-of-towner.
Comments
My guess is that women have more to fear concerning personal safety than they do about thievery.
The fact is that if you are a guy who is planning to steal stuff, CE is an incredibly inefficient way to do it since the chance of getting regular hookups is pretty low. It is just a very hard way to go about things if your primary interest is anything beyond sex. The bigger concern I think women should have in this instance is assault/physical attack.
Now for a guy, the idea of being a victim of theft SHOULD be a concern. Most guys will accept a potential hookup if offered, just due to supply and demand. So a woman could boost a house every day if she wants to. When I have brought a woman home casually, I do my best to both hide my valuables and my identifying information--mail, etc. I do not want her knowing more about me than I am willing to tell her or she is willing to really work at getting.
As for out-of-town hookups, I like hotel bars too...but the bar in ANOTHER hotel nearby works better for me. One, if the person is not a good fit once we meet, she does not know which hotel I am in. Two, if I am travelling with a group or am at a convention, I am less likely to run into someone I know at the bar at the hotel across the street than I am in my own hotel. Most hotels are near other ones anyway so it usually works out fine.
CC, where do you travel? Maybe the day will come when we are in the same hotel? ;)
Posted by: B | August 29, 2006 9:16 AM