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Sorry, guys, "hi" doesn't get me hot

So, you've seen a great profile on a dating site, and you're sure that you can definitely show this woman the time of her life. But how do you get her attention??

Do you send her a message with the subject "hi" and a body of "nice profile!"? Are you surprised when you don't hear back from her?

Even on those dating sites where women aren't inundated by offers from men, both interesting and not, most women are just not going to waste their time on this sort of thing. At best, when I get a message like this, I roll my eyes and click "delete". At worst, I point my friends to the guy's profile (usually quite sparse if not totally empty) and mock him.

I'm far more likely to respond to a guy who calls out something in my profile: "I see you write a blog! That's cool, I love blogs," or "Hey, casual sex, that's hot!" I'm also more likely to respond to a guy whose profile contains useful information. I don't just care about your location (I'm only interested in local guys, or men who live in cities that I visit for work with some regularity), but also, oh, I don't know, what you're like. The great thing about profiles is that it's a one shot thing for you: you set it up and then you let it work for you! It's worth taking the time to make it good.

This is one of those things that seems so obvious as to be silly to point it out, but I've gotten 3 "hi" emails on OkCupid this week, so there you go.

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