The joys of the friends with benefits arrangement
As I think you all know, I'm a big fan of the "friends with benefits" (FWB) arrangement. This is where the friendship doesn't depend on the sex in order to be friendly. In the best FWB, we can have sex without it making our friendship awkward or weird, and we can not have sex without it making things uncomfortable, either. To me, this is the ideal of comfort with sexuality and friendship.
Does this mean I have sex with all of my friends? Of course not. Despite the fact that I have the hottest friends ever, I don't want to sleep with all of them. In fact, at any moment, I may not want to sleep with any of them. But those people with whom I'm closest, or with whom I have the most potential for closeness, are those with whom sex isn't a barrier or a hurdle or a tool. These are people with whom I have a deep comfort and usually expect to continue that.
I like the fluidity of FWB, the appreciation of friendship and sex without obsession or fetishization of the sexual dynamic. It's easy and pleasing.
On the other hand, of course, when it goes badly, it's not just some quick lay who I can write off easily. Instead, if things go sour, the friendship suffers, so you don't just lose a fun lay but also a friend.
Still, in my experience, this is rare, if eveyone goes into the encounter openly and honestly acknowledging what's happening and what, fi any, expectations there are about the dynamic. If fyou can do that, it's certainly worth trying.
