Moments of self doubt strike us all
Sometimes, I think casual sex is a great way for me to get over fears. Not fears like spiders or heights, but social fears, like, "Boys never think I'm hot," or "I'm too shy to go out and try something wild," or "I was the big dork in high school and why do I think I'm any different now that I'm 30?"
Other times, I think casual sex is a great way for me to avoid facing fears. Fears like, "Am I just fucking around for validation that I can't get elsewhere?" or "Do I like casual sex because it means I don't have to be vulnerable to anyone?"
Comments
It's natural, healthy even, to ask yourself those questions honestly (of course) and face them directly... but to do so while being wary of self-prejudice. I don't think it's so much a matter of any one reason you engage in casual sex as it is that you're doing it for several reasons that you still find valid and reasonable. ("It's fun, it's an expression of my sexuality/identity/whatever, it's an interesting challenge, it inspires me to write and share and teach," etc.) If you're only getting one thing out of it, well, maybe it's time to reassess. Until that point... party on, eh?
Posted by: GreyDuck | October 18, 2006 6:34 PM
GreyDuck has a healthy perspective on things. That seems to be the view to have.
Posted by: Rosie | October 20, 2006 9:06 AM