Beauty, social mores, and a big nod to Erin McKean
Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked "female". -Erin McKean
This quote floated across my computer screen recently, and I had to bring it here, because beauty continues to be a major bugaboo for our society and individuals in it, especially (but not exclusively) women.
I like to look good. I like to put on a swingy skirt and a velvety shirt and go out and flirt with strangers. I also like to put on a frumpy, cozy robe, curl up on the sofa and drink hot tea. I like to feel good, and to be able to wear what suits my mood. And if I want to wear something frumpy out of the house, too, then by gosh, that's what I'm going to do.
As a woman who has a lot of sex, and for whom the dance around sex is a big part of life, I'm often all too aware of social expectations about female beauty, and, in particular, about the impossibility of meeting those standards. Don't wear makeup and some people will think you're lazy and don't care about your looks. Do wear makeup and other people will say you're asking to be hit on.
I even like to be hit on, if it's done in a way that doesn't seem presumptuous or intrusive. A polite opener? Good. A hand on my ass? Bad!
It's all tied up with the ingrained idea of women as objects, and as such, as needing to satisfy the consumer's gaze. All of this has been said before and by more eloquent people than I, so I'll leave it at that, and thank Erin McKean for her well stated post.
