ClueChick: real clues from a real chick

Last month, I received this query:

I've had some fun with dating sites this year and moved onto trying to pick people up in the real world. Had successs on the two times I've tried - once was a friend of a friend of a friend in a pub and once picking up someone behind the counter of a shop.

In both of these, I had a the chance to make chit chat before I asked them
out. Easy and fun!

For my next amazing trick, I want to try meeting people who I only see for
milliseconds at a time - waiting for the lifts or in busy coffee shop. Hard
places to strike up any kind of conversation.

Do you think this is too direct:

Hi, can you tell me what your name is?
Uh, huh. My name is XXX. Are you a scary lawyer?
Thought so. Would you like to have lunch/dinner with me?

Or better to try and create some chat first?

I would love to have something insightful and brilliant to say, but I really don't. Mostly, I think this is a great idea, and I'm certainly getting a kick out of thinking about it!

Pros: It's playful, fun, lighthearted, and you don't end up spending a lot of time or effort on any given attempt before taking the dive and seeing if it goes to a date-like event.

Cons: It's pretty much a snap-decision sort of issue, so your personality (assuming you have one! which you seem to) doesn't have a chance to shine. I'm guessing that you're reasonably good-looking, though, if you're considering this sort of approach, and that will obviously help. Good grooming and a confident carriage also, obviously, are key here.

I'm guessing you'll get turned down a fair amount, but I wouldn't be surprised to hear that women took you up on this more often than one might expect on first blush. I definitely want to hear how this goes for you!

Posted by ClueChick at 9:34 PM in Q&A | Permalink | Comments (2)

As you all have, perhaps, noticed, my posting has slacked off significantly over the summer. Summer is like that, of course, with lots of picnics and weekend outings and adventures of all sorts, and though I've been having the occasional hookup, most of my summer has been consumed by more substantial activities and events than casual sex.

This is something of a mixed bag for me. I really like casual sex, and I like having it be part of my life. And though I think I'm moving -- slowly -- in the direction of thinking I want to have some more serious relationship in my life. I was talking to a friend about this and she kindly pointed out the obvious: I don't have to choose between the two. But it still does mean shifting my efforts, which have, in the last couple of years, pretty much focused on the casual side of things, to include a bit more variety.

So, that may mean that on those (embarrassingly infrequent, I know) occasions when I manage to remind myself to post here, I may be shifting the focus around a bit. I know this won't bore most of you, but some of you, perhaps? So, call this fair warning.

Posted by ClueChick at 9:22 PM in uncategorizable introspection | Permalink | Comments (3)