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Hi, my name's [name]. Want to have dinner?

Last month, I received this query:

I've had some fun with dating sites this year and moved onto trying to pick people up in the real world. Had successs on the two times I've tried - once was a friend of a friend of a friend in a pub and once picking up someone behind the counter of a shop.

In both of these, I had a the chance to make chit chat before I asked them
out. Easy and fun!

For my next amazing trick, I want to try meeting people who I only see for
milliseconds at a time - waiting for the lifts or in busy coffee shop. Hard
places to strike up any kind of conversation.

Do you think this is too direct:

Hi, can you tell me what your name is?
Uh, huh. My name is XXX. Are you a scary lawyer?
Thought so. Would you like to have lunch/dinner with me?

Or better to try and create some chat first?

I would love to have something insightful and brilliant to say, but I really don't. Mostly, I think this is a great idea, and I'm certainly getting a kick out of thinking about it!

Pros: It's playful, fun, lighthearted, and you don't end up spending a lot of time or effort on any given attempt before taking the dive and seeing if it goes to a date-like event.

Cons: It's pretty much a snap-decision sort of issue, so your personality (assuming you have one! which you seem to) doesn't have a chance to shine. I'm guessing that you're reasonably good-looking, though, if you're considering this sort of approach, and that will obviously help. Good grooming and a confident carriage also, obviously, are key here.

I'm guessing you'll get turned down a fair amount, but I wouldn't be surprised to hear that women took you up on this more often than one might expect on first blush. I definitely want to hear how this goes for you!

Comments

Do you really think being particularly good looking is very important for this? I know if a woman tried something like this with me, I might well be bowled over enough by her confidence to give it a chance as long as there wasn't anything about her that actively made me want to shy away. She could be quite plain-looking. And I'm sure there are a lot of women who are much less appearance-oriented than I am in this sort of context (just as, no doubt, there are a lot who are more so). Confidence is hot.

I think the more good looking he is, the higher his success rate will be, but it's true that confidence will make him more attractive, no matter how he looks.

It's true that many men seem to be more appearance oriented than many women, but I think that, by and large, men are also probably "easier" than women, too. This may balance out to a wash.

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