ClueChick: real clues from a real chick

I really have no idea what this guy is trying to say:

IM REAL AND NOT LOOKING FOR GAMES YOU EMAIL ME BACK SO I NO IM NOT TALKING WITH A ROBOT PLZ UNDERSTAND THERE IS SO MUCH BULLSHIT ON HERE THIS ALL ABOUT YOU NOT ME THIS IS WHAT I ENJOY EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARELOOKING FOR I CANT SHOW MY FACE AS FOR WORK REASONS PLZ UNDER STAND BUT THE BODY SHOT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE RUDE I AM A MASSEUSES BY PROFESSION IM NOT LOOKING TO NO END I ALSO LOVE TO BE THE PLEASRE OF THE TWO SO YOU WOULD HAVE TO LET ME PLEASE YOU LOL GOD I HOPE YOU POST IS REAL AS MY EMAILS IS TO YOU AS LONG AS THERE IS FREINDSHIP AND A HEART UP LATE JUST GOT HOME SORRY ABOUTH THE LATE EMAILI THINK I EMAILED YOU BEFORE MY LIFE IS IN ORDER JUST LOOKING FOR A FREIND I AM NOT LOOING FOR A TEN MIN SCREW ALSO I AM LOOKING FOR A FREIND WITH NSA SO AS IN THE END WHEN YOU SAY I MET SOMEONE ELSE WE PART AS FREINDS TO WHERE I CAN SEND A EMAIL AND SAY HI HOW R THINGS I NO YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A FREIND BUT ........ I DATED A WOMEN ONCE WHO SHOWED ME JUST HOW A LADY LIKES TO BE TREATED AS A FREIND AND LOVER STRONG SEX DRIVE THIS WOULD BE FOR YOU AND YOU ONLY NOT ME NOT LOOKING TO GET MY THING WET BUT JUST TO SERVE YOUR NEEDS I AM HONEST UP FRONT GUY WHO HAS A SOLID JOB JUST BEEN LOOKING FOR A HONEST UP FRONT FREIND TO START IM SURE WE COUD MAKE SOMTHING WORK BUT I GUES IL NEVER NO UNTIL I SEND YOU A EMAIL I LKED YOUR POST AND HOPE MY RETURN WASNT TO STRONG I ALSO SEE THAT THERE IS QUITE A BIT OF BULLSHIT ON THIS SITE AND IM NOT LOOKING FOR IT OR NOR DO I WANT TO GIVE ANY I TO LEFT A LONG RELATION AND BEEN SINGLE OVER A YEAR NOW AND LOOKING FOR A FREIND AND TO SEE WHAT COMES FROM IT WE ARE ALL HUMAN AND DO HAVE WANTS NOT HERE FOR DRAMA JUST A CLOSE TRUSTING FREIND WOULD LOVE TO TALK SO EMAIL ME BACK HEY CANT HURT TO MAKE A FREIND I WOULD LOVE TO PART OF THISYOU AER TALKING ABOUT OR JUST TO PLZ YOU AS YOU WANT IM HONEST UP FRONT HARD WORKING GUY NOT SOME FREAK SO IF YOU DO GET MY EMAIL PLZ RESPOND WITH A YES OR A NO I AM IN THE SAME BOAT AS YOU IN LIFE AND WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THAT FEELING OF EXCITMENT AGAIN THANKS I AM ON LINE FOR A FEW HOURS I HOPE WE CAN TALK

Posted by ClueChick at 2:58 PM in actual responses | Permalink | Comments (6)

A couple of times recently, I've tried something I'd never done before, which is meeting strangers through face-to-face interactions. I gather this is one of the ways it was done before the internet, but, damn, it amazes me that anyone managed to get any before the internet. Though it's becoming less mysterious, happily.

So, back in the winter, I met a guy at a bar while I was waiting for friends, and we struck up a conversation that was interesting and engaging, and then my friends showed up and I went off to have dinner with them. I realized, though, that I wanted to continue the conversation and, of course, the guy was quite to my taste, and the only way to keep chatting would be to ask him for his number or give him mine. So before I even had a chance to second-guess myself, I gave him my card where I'd jotted my mobile number on the bottom and suggested if he ever wanted to get drinks, he should give me a call.

I was, after the fact, incredibly proud of myself for having the nerve to do that. I hadn't really let myself think about it at the time, but afterwards, I had a big rush of adrenaline and, "Oh, my god, did I really just do that??" It was merely icing on the cake when he called a couple of weeks later and we had a couple of truly outstanding dates.

More recently, I pulled more or less the same maneuver in a much more planned-out way, and I have to say, that was approximately five gazillion times harder. This time, I plotted to have drinks with a friend and slip the guy my number before I'd even gotten to the bar (he works there). It took me an hour and a half to work up my nerve and find a moment when he was alone and didn't seem to be busy before I gathered all my courage and went to talk to him briefly:

Me: *proffering card* I don't know if you're seeing anyone, but if you're not, I'd love to get together for drinks sometime.
Him: *taking card* I'll call you.
Me: Great! *fleeing*

And he did! I actually had convinced myself that he wouldn't, because he struck me as kind of shy, and I really had no idea if he was interested in me, despite the fact that we've been making eyes at each other every time I've gone into his establishment for the past 3-4 years. I mean, he could just be cute and flirty or shy and blushy, right? Anyway, we have a date next week. But now I have to figure out how to broach the "I just want you for sex" conversation without the convenient forerunner of an up-front CL ad.

Posted by ClueChick at 8:48 AM in cluechick encounters | Permalink | Comments (0)

I recently articulated to myself the root of a certain dissatisfaction I've been feeling: To some small but important degree, any day that goes by when I don't have sex feels like a day wasted. Not that that's the only thing, of course, to the overall color of a day, but most -- or many, at least -- of the other things that are important to my well-being are things that I'm achieving, whereas sex ... well, there are more days that I'm not having it than that I am.

This is a circumstance of my choosing, at least in broad brush strokes, and the nice thing about having realized this in so many words is that now it's something I can go about changing. The nice thing about being a woman who wants more sex in this society is that there are a heck of a lot of means to get to that. It's a much more satisfying proposition (heh) than being a woman looking for a meaningful relationship.

As I was chatting about this with a friend last night, she pointed out that lack of sex can also cloud judgment and lead to making bad choices. I'm happy I've identified this issue before I got really stupid.

Um. I think.

Posted by ClueChick at 9:01 AM in uncategorizable introspection | Permalink | Comments (1)

So. Last week, I responded to a hot CL ad. Mr. Dude and I have since been exchanging emails comparing notes and interests and figuring out that we're very much on the same page and why don't we meet? So we arranged to meet this evening over drinks.

I arrived a couple of minutes early, found a seat at the bar, and ordered myself a drink. I was mostly facing away from the entrance, though turned slightly so I could glance more easily at people coming in. At some point while I was facing away, he entered and, apparently, glanced around and saw a woman who looked more or less like me and concluded it was her, because he joined her at the table. He had a toy with him that had been a running theme in our emails, and put it on the table. I was suitably amused by the mix-up and waited for them to figure it out. They gestured at the toy and obviously had some conversation about it. There appeared to be no mix-up, because he settled in and ordered a drink.

Now, we met on the internet, and far be it from me to be bothered by the fact that he's meeting multiple women coming out of his post. I was put off by the fact that it appeared he was having the same conversation with all the women he was in touch with, or at least two of us, if the same prop worked for both of us. And, of course, I was not impressed with his having made a date with two people at the same time and place! Hello, tacky!

In fact, as it became increasingly clear that they were settling into their conversation, I was increasingly offended. So offended that I wasn't even offended, finally, just gobsmacked. And I had my whole drink, which I could leave, and stalk out, maybe with a brief pause at the table to tell him off briefly. Or I could wait around and see ... did he have a plan for this? Did he think one of us was coming later? Would he glance up and notice me there? So, I decided to nurse my drink and eavesdrop on their date while contemplating the chutzpah involved in this situation.

Minutes passed. They laughed, chatted, chuckled. Meanwhile, I realized that the guy who just came in and sat beside me is someone I met several years ago at a social event and later called to ask out on a date, which call he never returned. I hoped he didn't recognize me; at any rate, he didn't strike up a conversation, and neither did I.

Suddenly, a shriek arose from the table. "Oh my god!" yelled the woman. "We're meeting the wrong person!" General exclamations and startled looks arose, and it was immediately apparent to me that my first conclusion -- that he'd sat at the wrong table -- spot on. Unfortunately, it had taken them longer to sort that out. He turned and saw me (I kept my head down and pretended I hadn't noticed any of this), and made a quick switch to come over and introduce himself. "Let me tell you what I just did," he opened.

I admitted to having observed the slip-up, and we had a good laugh at the whole situation. We had actually exchanged photos before meeting, but the woman did look vaguely like me, and it was dim, and it can be hard to translate photos to real life. We wondered if she and her date had exchanged photos, though, because when he finally arrived, he looked nothing like mine. So, I suppose the moral of this story is that photos are helpful ... but no substitute for speaking clearly when introducing yourself that first time.

Posted by ClueChick at 10:54 PM in cluechick encounters , misc tips | Permalink | Comments (0)

Some nights, what I want is a bar or club that's specifically tagged the way CL: CE is. So you walk in with the understanding that everyone there is at least potentially open to the possibility of a casual hookup, maybe with different areas designating type and style.

I know, I know. What ever happened to old fashioned talking? But, seriously, it's so damn much work. Can't we just cut to the chase?

Posted by ClueChick at 6:07 PM in | Permalink | Comments (3)