Why it's a good idea to exchange photos before meeting
So. Last week, I responded to a hot CL ad. Mr. Dude and I have since been exchanging emails comparing notes and interests and figuring out that we're very much on the same page and why don't we meet? So we arranged to meet this evening over drinks.
I arrived a couple of minutes early, found a seat at the bar, and ordered myself a drink. I was mostly facing away from the entrance, though turned slightly so I could glance more easily at people coming in. At some point while I was facing away, he entered and, apparently, glanced around and saw a woman who looked more or less like me and concluded it was her, because he joined her at the table. He had a toy with him that had been a running theme in our emails, and put it on the table. I was suitably amused by the mix-up and waited for them to figure it out. They gestured at the toy and obviously had some conversation about it. There appeared to be no mix-up, because he settled in and ordered a drink.
Now, we met on the internet, and far be it from me to be bothered by the fact that he's meeting multiple women coming out of his post. I was put off by the fact that it appeared he was having the same conversation with all the women he was in touch with, or at least two of us, if the same prop worked for both of us. And, of course, I was not impressed with his having made a date with two people at the same time and place! Hello, tacky!
In fact, as it became increasingly clear that they were settling into their conversation, I was increasingly offended. So offended that I wasn't even offended, finally, just gobsmacked. And I had my whole drink, which I could leave, and stalk out, maybe with a brief pause at the table to tell him off briefly. Or I could wait around and see ... did he have a plan for this? Did he think one of us was coming later? Would he glance up and notice me there? So, I decided to nurse my drink and eavesdrop on their date while contemplating the chutzpah involved in this situation.
Minutes passed. They laughed, chatted, chuckled. Meanwhile, I realized that the guy who just came in and sat beside me is someone I met several years ago at a social event and later called to ask out on a date, which call he never returned. I hoped he didn't recognize me; at any rate, he didn't strike up a conversation, and neither did I.
Suddenly, a shriek arose from the table. "Oh my god!" yelled the woman. "We're meeting the wrong person!" General exclamations and startled looks arose, and it was immediately apparent to me that my first conclusion -- that he'd sat at the wrong table -- spot on. Unfortunately, it had taken them longer to sort that out. He turned and saw me (I kept my head down and pretended I hadn't noticed any of this), and made a quick switch to come over and introduce himself. "Let me tell you what I just did," he opened.
I admitted to having observed the slip-up, and we had a good laugh at the whole situation. We had actually exchanged photos before meeting, but the woman did look vaguely like me, and it was dim, and it can be hard to translate photos to real life. We wondered if she and her date had exchanged photos, though, because when he finally arrived, he looked nothing like mine. So, I suppose the moral of this story is that photos are helpful ... but no substitute for speaking clearly when introducing yourself that first time.
