From a m4w ad, posted without further comment:
I think that this time I'll work the intelligence angle. I've noticed that I seem to get along best with people who consider themselves to be smarter than the average person walking down the street. I mean, yes, physical attractiveness is of course important, but I think that there's something to be said for mental attractiveness as well.Do you feel the same way? If so, send a pic
Today, a friend pointed me to the best m4w ad, ever. Click here to see it while it's still up, or simply read it below if the link has expired:
Headline:
Oh man.
Body:
You would not believe how awesome I am.
Let's make out.
One of the most frequent lines in profiles, ads and email responses is, "Please send a pic. Attraction is important!"
This is, of course, entirely true. I, too, am much happier seeing a picture of a guy I might meet, for a variety of reasons, from assuming that I'll be able to tell if he's too old for me to assuming I'll be able to tell if he's hot or not. I also assume that everyone meeting up with people through online connections has a picture and understand that we're all at least a little shallow.
The attraction is important like always strikes me as an attempt not to look shallow, which, conversely, always makes me think that guy is extra shallow, because not only is he concerned with looks, but he's going to some effort to make out like he's not.
You don't need to apologize to me for caring about looks. I care, too. Everyone does. You're right; attraction is important. But you may find that you can't tell attraction from a photo. Certainly, I've found on more than one occasion, someone whose photo made me go "eh" had a real zing in person.
I'll mock you for asking for my picture but not providing one of yourself. I'll mock you for pretending you're just gauging levels of attraction when you're actually gauging levels of attractiveness. But I won't mock you for being up front and saying that appearance matters, because we all know it does. Pussyfooting around it doesn't make you look any better.
Sometimes, real ads are better than anything I could come up with. Frequently, in fact. Tonight, I signed onto CE to find these two ads one after another:
Cum Fuck My Girlfriend The Pussy is Good - mw4mm - 33
Are you a Cuckold Couple? Want to hear her squeal with pleasure? - m4mw - 39
Of course, they probably won't manage to connect with each other, but, come on, isn't this just the kind of thing that's great to see? They're probably neighbors.
Normally, I find the clumsy ads on CL sort of eye-rollingly pathetic, but there's something about this one that just tickled me. I think it's the part where this guy seems to think that facials are, like, the most extreme thing ever. And I'm charmed by the fact that he apologizes for any possible offense (on CE? really!). Plus, the mess of exclamation points at the end: I'm picturing this guy being from, oh, I don't know, Iowa or someplace really wholesome, where everyone has sex missionary-style with the lights out:
honest best policy ? my fantasy .....and you want what in return ???? - m4wOk here is my utmost fantasy and I cant shake it.. I am a white male, clean cut very fit and I have had the total fantasy for a very long time of either giving a woman a facial or shooting it right into her mouth while she stares at me...
I am very very clean cut and thought why not type this and see what happens, my hopes are low but nmaybe out here there is a female who would possibly want something I could provide in return for allowing me to live out this fantasy...
I know it is a little on the edge and I hope no one is offended by this post I just cant stop thinking about it. so if you might be willing to help me out please email me and let me know what you might want in return .!!!!!!!!!!!!
I swear I'm not making this up:
fun with marmalade - m4w - 30i wanna slather marmalade all over your hot, steaming buttcheeks and then nibble it off like a chipmunk. sound good? let me know.
A chipmunk?? Is that sexy? What the hell??
He includes a cameraphone photo with the ad. Who wants to guess if it's his face or his cock?
Here's a CE headline that appeared today:
Caught my wife doing her boss now its my turn to cheat
Are you serious? It completely amazes me that people even bother getting married if this is the way they think. Maybe I should just stop imaginaning that my advice is even remotely useful if this sort of thing is how people approach their serious relationships. Because if this is the kind of crap that you're bringing to your marriage, what shitty baggage are you going to carry with you to a casual encounter?
Really, people. I know there are lots of men and women out there who don't think of their casual sexual partners as real people. I won't be able to help you if you're among them, or if you want to pick up someone who's okay with this attitude.
I can only give you advice that applies if you're looking to make a real -- if casual -- connection with a real person. That's why it actually takes work. On the other hand, I'd sure as hell rather live with my attitude than the one reflected above. Yuck!
I console myself with humor gleaned from another ad: "I want a really girl tonight. Race is unimportant as long as you like sex. If your not female and horny than don't respond."
Ah, yes, so comforting. I think I'll go get a drink.
Today, I'd like to talk about word choice. In particular, I'm interested in the girl vs. woman and boy vs. man distinction.
It used to be that hearing anyone refer to an adult female as "girl" rubbed me the wrong way. Girls, to me, were underage and most certainly shouldn't be trolling the net for casual sex. "Woman", I grant you, is a little stuffy, but at least she's legal.
In the past couple of years, I've eased up on that a lot. I'm as likely to call an evening with my female friends "girls' night" as "ladies' night" and if I'm going out with a bunch of them, I'm probably going out with my girls.
Similarly, however, when I'm going out with a guy, I'm very likely to call him my boy. Or when I'm going out with someone new, it might be a new guy, or it might be a new boy. I fairly rarely call guys "men". Men are strangers; guys and boys are friends and lovers.
So, I'm pretty relaxed about the girl/woman thing, but a lot of women find it troublesome, and I do, too, sometimes. Here's a great example of a terrible use of "girl":
Good looking guy here girls - m4wHey girls. Here just looking for some fun during the week. Im a good looking guy. living right in the city with my own place. So girls get back to me if your interested in meeting up for some drinks and some sexual fun. Enjoy the rest of the day girls.
Okay, setting aside the fact that he vastly overuses the word, he's also kind of creeping me out with this whole idea. In this case, it sounds like he thinks of all women as "girls", and that ends up being diminutive and yucky. I don't mind when a guy calls a woman a girl, if he also refers to himself as a boy, or if he mixes it up.
In general, though, it's worth considering your use of girl/woman, because it's easy to go overboard with the familiarity implied with calling me a "girl", and the effect of that is rarely good. There are plenty of women who are more relaxed about this point than I am, but there are also lots who are more uptight about it. If you want to play on the safe side, be aware of your word choice and consider aging up, at least for starters.
People often ask me to post examples of good CE ads by men. Today, I stumbled upon this one (that link will only work for about a week, and if I'm on top of things, I'll remember to unlink it next week sometime.):
So are you actually looking for a naughty friend? - m4w - 30 Date: 2006-07-04, 11:13AM EDTI mean, lets be honest. I get the feeling more people on craigslist aren't really looking for that ultimate, casual, no holds barred, naughty relationship. The kind where neither of us feels the least bit uncomfortable sharing our deepest, darkest, dirtiest fantasies with.
You may ask why someone wouldn't want to just share them with their girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, husbands, friends-with-benefits partner (or any other run-of-the-mill paring you can come up with)?
The truth is that there is a level of relationship there that you just might not want to ruin with certain thoughts and fantasies. Telling your husband tat you want more oral sex, how to use his tongue, to dress up like a fireman, or other conventional things is hard enough to do.
To say its your life long fantasy to be treated like a whore, done by three men at once, or dress up like a little girl and get fondled by your daddy... Well, those are the sort of thing that might make them view you a little differently. Forever change things.
I am searching for a woman who won't get offended by hearing my dirty fantasies. I won't get offended hearing yours. How great to be able to talk about them with someone.
I know you won't like all of mine. I know that I won't like all of yours. Chances are we will like a lot more than we don't. I won't judge you, think better or worse of you (well, ok, probably better) no matter what turns you on.
Hell, even it it aint my cup 'o tea I will probably do it for you.
I am 30. I am attractive - no not a model or movie star but good looking. I am sane. I am safe. I am respectful. I can listen.
I am creative and dirty.
Talk to me. Email me. Lets start to know each other.
Happy 4th of July (if I don't write back right away, well, it is the holiday... dont' worry, you will hear from me).
Okay, I wasn't going to post over the long weekend, but I just stumbled upon this while browsing through the "for sale -> barter" section on my local Craig's List.
Complete Home Computer System....Ladies only Date: 2006-07-03I seem to have an abundance of fully working P C systems available to the right lady............contact me if there's any interest and we can go over the details..........thanks
Now, setting aside the absurd use of ellipses (or whatever it is when you use 10 in a row rather than just punctuating your damn writing) this is just sleazy. The subtext is clearly along the lines of, "Hey, I bought you dinner, so you owe it to me to put out." Presumably, or, I hope, at least, that going over the details would clarify this point before it gets too far, but I'm totally grossed out by the whole thing.
It's not, however, the idea of trading goods and services. That seems fine to me, and always has. It's the unspoken trading, here and in larger social settings, that gets me, because of all the social subtext it supports. If you want to give a woman a computer setup in exchange for getting your cock sucked, great! Go for it! But say so. Implicit in the hints and dancing around are two ideas that I'd like to see wither and die:
First, the idea that sex is shameful and dirty: Sex, like any human activity, can be healthy or unhealthy, depending on how you do it. We don't have a lot of opportunities to approach sex in a healthy way in our society, though, because it's so bound up in socioreligious underpinnings that we don't often think about. Even broadly sex-positive people such as yours truly often come across buried assumptions and opinions that show how hard it is to get away from thinking of sex as either something dirty or something sacred. When we whisper about using sex as a piece of barter trade, we keep our confused notions active and damaging. If you want to make a trade, by all means, do. But if you think it's shameful, think twice about it.
Second, the idea that women are property: Oh, sure, the sex is a service, provided by a person, who happens to be female, but because women are generally objectified, especially in sexual settings, in our society, their service is, in fact, a good, to be bartered. And because it is less okay for women to be freely sexual than for men, the sexual marketplace puts women in the position of holding something of value in their orifices, which they can then trade for goods. This is great for the individual who takes advantage of the demand, but bad, in general, for both men and women, as it prevents us all from approaching sexuality as equals with equal power and desire.
So, to celebrate Independence Day, I encourage you all to confront your desires honestly, feel good about them, and go get laid (or whatever you'd like to do).
ELEGANT,SEXY VIRGIN WANTS TO MEET HORNY MEN FOR FOREPLAY!!
(If it says virgin, it's spam. If it's in all caps, it's spam.)
I'm really HOT..wanna see me in person? - w4m - 23
(If it says "I'm really HOT" it's spam.)
For Women I'm looking for a nude/semi housecleaner - m4w
(That one made me laugh.)
LOOKING FOR TWO HOT GRLZ.TO HAVE MY 1ST THREESUM. - 22
(Mmm, classy!)
Please im begging you buy my porn!!! its cheap!!
(Because cheap is the first thing I look for in porn!)
Okay, I am full of pet peeves, and today I'm going to talk about one that I've mentioned before: Men offering money on the casual encounters board on Craig's List. Here's a real, yet also extreme, example:
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ - m4w
Can any pretty girl come over and play with me? Name your donation. We will have fun.
Now, here it is, guys. If you want to pay for a hooker, pay for a hooker. There's even an erotic services category on Craig's List if you're too shy to get in your car and troll the street in a less-than-shiny neighbhorhood in your city. (And I'll admit, I can't blame you if you don't want to go that route.) But don't fool yourself into thinking you're going to be getting anything but a prostitute if you're posting to CE and your main hook is the dollar signs in your ad.
The ones that drive me really crazy are the ones that say something about looking for a non-pro, but still offer money. I think they might be confused about the definition of professional.
I don't actually have a problem with prostitution, on the face of it. Of course, it's a dreadful system as it's practiced in most systems, but far be it from me to tell someone they can't sell their body, and if you can find someone who's willing to fuck you for money, and you have the money for it, and you're not tricking yourself into thinking it's anything but a business arrangement that happens to involve sex, then, hey, go, you.
But CE is not a bulletin board for prostitutes and johns. Rather, it's a place for both men and women to seek out and, one hopes, find some hot fun with a likeminded companion, whether for an evening, a week, a month, or more.
But more than being annoyed at these ads simply because they're miscategorized and spam, I'm also annoyed at the mentality they represent. These are men who think that women are objects, to be bought -- or at least rented -- because they -- the men, that is -- are finding it hard to woo a woman using their own charms. There are a lot of unattractive men out there who have somehow managed to find and interest women through any number of means, and money is certainly a traditional lubricant for the otherwise less-than-appealilng. And, of course, there are lots of very attractive men who, whether through shyness or disinterest or who-knows-what-else.
Nevertheless, the blatant offering of money in exchange for sex in the context of what should be a money-free transaction bugs me. It's sleazy and offensive, and, frankly, just plain lame. Don't do it.
A common sentiment expressed in ads I see on CL is the idea that we should, of course, be embarrassed to be looking for love/sex/whatever there. "I won't tell my friends where we met if you don't," or "If you're surprised to find yourself here, click my ad!"
This approach may well work for people who feel this way, but I can't really imagine doing something that I'm so embarrassed about, so these ads always make me laugh. Do people really still think that meeting online is weird? Or is it meeting through personal ads that's a big secret? I can't quite figure it out, but, then, I hang out with a lot of people who spend loads of time online, so doing a lot of socializing through electronic media just makes sense to me. One of these days, no doubt, we'll all be browsing personal ads from our handheld PDA/phone/whatever while walking from the subway to our office.
So, those ads that seem somewhat furtive, or that play on the secretive, shameful side of the whole scene strike out for me. Why bother doing something that you don't feel deep down? And if you feel it deep down, it's probably worth getting over feeling shame about it. Of course, we all know I'm a shameless... uh, well, you can pick your epithet, really. But the point remains: It's fun to be secretive, sometimes, but I've never been one to get off on shame, and it certainly strikes me as an odd way to try to make a connection with someone.
Is this a Catholic thing?
For you real women... - m4w - 27if you're not on here just to see how many guys you can attract and you just want to roll in the sheets without having to wade through a lot of proove-that-you're-good-enough bullshit, then e-mail me a photo and i'll do the same. as long as you're not huge or a transexual, i'll probably be willing to hook up with you.
Because I just love it when a guy is willing to hook up with me.
I'm moving to New York. All the best ads from men come from there. To wit:
I just solved the Riemann Hypothesis! - m4ww - 26For those of you that don't know math, this is a really big deal.
To celebrate, I think I deserve a threesome tonight with two hot girls.
So, if you're interested--send me an e-mail. I'm cute, nice, and--obviously--really fucking smart.
(If you're in NYC and a big brain turns you on, you can email him.)
I have not seen his proof, so I make no guarantees, but at the very least, he's obviously confident and funny.
(Who said you can't use mad math skillz to pick people up?)
If you respond to this kind of ad, you deserve the spam you'll get as a result:
COLLEGE GURL WANTING TO MEET MATURE MAN TONITE!!Lonely horny sex-deprived girl looking for sex - w4m - 19
Meet me tonight!Cum to my area - w4m - 25
Yeah, yeah, those are all yawners, right? After all, you, my readers, are too bright to fall for those obvious ones.
But, of course, the spammers improve their odds when they get even just a little smarter:
NSA kinky fun today - w4m - 26looking for a man to take care of me - w4m - 23
The clues here are:
In the first case, "today" -- while I don't want to say that women are never in that much of a rush, I will say that if you think real women on CL are rare, imagine an order of magnitude more rare still and you might be close to the numbers of women who are in a big rush to get some right away.
In the second case, "take care of me" -- this says prostitute to me. It appeals to the daddy types and the guys who like to be protective of their (even temporary) possessions.
But, in both cases, what really stands out to me, but only because I browse several cities CE sections in a bunch, is that every last one of these ads showed up in multiple cities. Of course, this sucks for the average user, who isn't going to think to look at Chicago and Boston if he's living in Seattle.
Needless to say, this sort of thing bums me out because a) spam sucks and b) who needs more reasons than a)? and c) this keeps the CL CE economy in terrible shape for both men and the few real women there are. There often are clues as to whether an ad is real or fake, but not always, and you have to be paying a lot of attention, which, if you're doing a quick skim after work, you may not be doing. My only advice, in those cases, is to use a throwaway email address that you can recycle after it gets too clogged with spam.
Browse the CE board of any city and you'll see postings that include dollar signs. Some attempt to be subtle: "Cute girls get in touch $oon!" (hey, I did say attempt), and others don't bother: "Normal girl, get in touch $$$$." Offers of sugar-daddyism drift around (as does the occasional request for a sugar daddy) as well as explicit gift-giving, shopping trips and the like.
Of course, all of these are miscategorized on the CE board, but that's beside the point, because, well, they keep cropping up. I'm sure it won't surprise you all to know that I'm not impressed.
Sure, yes, casual sex market is really run by women, to a large degree, at least if you're not interested in hooking up with men (where you'll have a lot more success), and so, one presumes, the thinking goes, that if you can't stand out any other way, you can at least pump up your prospects by offering cash or other material rewards.
And the truth is, I'm not particularly against prostitution. But I do find the disengenuity of these ads annoying at best. My favorite of these is the one that said, "Non pro wanted! I'll pay $$$." Perhaps he's unclear on the concept of "professional". If you think that just because you're offering to pay on a free board, it doesn't count as a prostitution arrangement, you're wrong. And if you think it doesn't count because it's an ongoing thing and you trade shopping trips for blow jobs, you're wrong again. If that's what you want, fine, but at least be honest with yourself about what you're asking for and what you're getting.
And for the love of all the sex in the world, don't offer money to a woman who didn't hint at it in her ad. She might take it as an insult, and I promise, if she's anything like me, it won't get you a reply.
I'm not intentionally picking on the baby people, here, it's just that their posts leap out at me as some of the most mind-boggling:
Looking for a responsible person for to become a parent! - m4w - 37Do you want to have a child? I do not have any children and i wanted to see if anyone was interested in having one. I will exchange information and look forward to hearing from you!
Now, if you want a kid, more power to you, and if you want to find someone online to share that experience with, great! But... you're posting this in casual encounters! What the...?
Okay, I'm at work, but I couldn't wait to share this gem:
BBW only. Today, tomorrow or saturday, you chose - 33(Emphasis mine.)"No gays and lesi.. please"
I had posted this ad few days ago and got first few replies, but not a single write back after that. I guess I better give my full detail right now so we both can save some time. This is for BBW only. I would love if you are over 180 pounds, are short or anything but you have tits and pussy. This is a new experience for me and will probably be for you as well because I'm a good looking, 6'2", 33 years old, extremely good in bed guy looking to have sex with a BBW soon. I would love to try a big big girl on any weekdays or over the weekend. My father is white and mother is Indian. I was born here but raised in India for few years. I have fair color, I'm tall and good looking. Full sexual and oral satisfaction is guranteed. Imagine a fair colored and tall guy with charming look is standing in front of you. If you're open for this and can host, I can be there for you. Protection and discretion are the most important. I will lick you down there if you want me to. Nonsmoker prefered but not the most. Here are pics of my dick and myself. It means your email will not write anything such as " Can I see a pic of your dick?" later. Thanks and hope to see you soon.
I'm sure every self-respecting BBW out there is going to leap on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to fuck a good-looking guy. Especially one with such high standards that he'll only do a woman who has tits and a pussy!
I need a woman who loves to SWALLOW! - m4w - 33
It's always "need", isn't it?
Your Tampax can treat your pussy as well as my cock can. - m4w
This has got to be a typo:
hey u litlle HOE!! get over here and bend over M4W - m4w - 21
Is it just me, or did this guy spell "ho'" wrong?
For cryin out loud I just want a fucking blow job - m4w - 30The title says it all I just want a fucking blow job
With a personality like that, it's hard to believe the women aren't clamoring to suck his cock.
Come to my GANG BANG - w4m - 25Spectators and participants needed for my upcoming Gang Bang video. This is going to be an absolutely incredible time for everyone. Don't miss out! My stats: 34D/26/34, 5'4", fit, beautiful, sexy and horny as hell.
Does this sound too good to be true? Uh huh.
Use your noggins, fellas!
I will fuck you very hard TONIGHT! - m4w - 33Tall, handsome, fit, man. Very horney tonight, and seeking someone to fuck very hard.
You will come over to my place tonight. When you arrive I will undress you. You will get on your knees and service me until I am very ready. I will bend you over on the floor and take you like an animal. You will cum very hard. When I am done I will cum on you and you will leave.
We will not make small talk.
I will write a fantasy that reads like a love scene written by George Lucas. I will bore my audience to sleep. You will not respond to my ad. I will continue to fantasize.
I found this not in the personals section, but under classes:
Learn a foreign accentGuys, let's face it! A lot of women like foreigners because it makes them feel sophisticated. You know what they say? The closest to go to Europe is to have Europe come to you!
Does it drive you mad that women will not date you, but will sleep with foreign guys on a first date?
In three easy one-hour lesson I can:
1) teach you how to fake an accent
2) give you some stories to tell about your new childhood
3) give you some postcards and photos to show
4) teach you how to "disappear" and "reappear" so that you get the sex, but not the relationship.$ 150 per class, divided among the participants, pay as you go. Small class size of no more than 5 people per class.
One-on-one crash courses available (surcharge applies)
I suppose that's one way to go about it.
The only thing here that really rubs me the wrong way (you'll all be stunned, no doubt) is item #4. More on that another day.
Alien Coming to Earth - m4w - 29Hi
We are an alien civilization coming to visit your planet tomorrow.
Since we are not in the habit of abducting individuals for research, we are posting for volunteers.
We need one female or more (we already have enough males) who is willing to explain and demonstrate your species' intriguing practice of non-reproductive sex.
We plan to send an individual for the purpose of this research. The individual will resemble a 29 year old male.
We welcome you to apply or to make any inquiries.
Clever, offbeat. I like it.
Tonight, I've collected a handful of very entertaining headlines for your entertainment:
Come spread at my spread (Females only) - m4w - 40
So delicate, so tempting!
Please I am a virgin that needs a lady tonight!! - m4w
Ahh, smell that desperation. Let's talk about the meaning of "need", shall we?
Big old fat slob want to go down on you - m4w
BABY! Hold me back!
Sometimes, for fun and out of curiosity, I respond to ads that seem completely ridiculous to me just to find out if there's actually action happening in those ads that I think are absurd. After all, I'm pretty particular, and I know not everyone is, especially when looking for random, anonymous sex. It's pretty infrequent for me to get a response, probably in part because people think I'm asking out of sarcastic meanness (which I can understand, though that's not my intention when I respond) and in part because they're not interested in bothering to email with a woman who isn't even remotely interested in hooking up with them.
Sometimes, Craig's List postings are too good to be true. You know the ones: "I'm a hot 18 year old virgin looking for an older dude to come fuck me senseless!" I always figure the men who respond to those deserve the spam they're going to get.
Here's another good one from Boston's CE section:
I'm a dirty whore. InterestedI have this thing about big dick. This is a serious post. I really could use a good NSA fuck. I can deep throat, love it deep and enjoy anal. I'll decide by your dick pictures. Depending on the dick picture. I might have my own gang bang. You can reach me direct at mocha_princess30 at yah.
Included with this post was a picture of a very lovely ass, though slightly slim-hipped for my taste.
My money's on this being a man trolling for jerking material.
My basic approach to kinks of all sorts is a pretty classic, "What you want is okay, as long as everyone involved in the actualization of your fantasy does so with informed consent," sort of idea. So the guy with the impregnation fantasy who I mentioned yesterday doesn't strike me as strange for having that fantasy so much as for the oddness of trying to enact it with strangers, particularly those who might answer a Casual Encounters ad. By definition, an activity that results in a baby is not casual.
The leap of faith involved in playing out that fantasy with a stranger is what boggles me: you're trusting a stranger to have current test results, not to have exposed him/herself to an STD since the test was taken, not to change his/her mind about custody or financial arrangements (or lack thereof) down the road. To me, living out a hot fantasy just isn't worth it.
Anyway, if I were looking to pick up a father for my fantasy child, he'd have to show me some other test results beyond the STD test. After all, if I'm not picking the father out of love, I at least ought to get the best genetic material possible.
I need a woman's body so I can eat her out. No recip - m4w - 29
Somehow, this headline doesn't quite work. When I first read it, i thought it was someone posting about having been born in the wrong body or something. The phrase, "I need a woman's body" just made me think of someone saying wistfully, "I need a new pair of eyes."
Setting that aside, one must ask: Once you have her body, what did you have planned for, oh, her mind? Or would a Real Doll do the trick?
This is an example of one of the strangest trends (there are a couple of these each day in most major cities) I've seen on Craig's List:
Ladies,I have a hot fantasy of cumming inside of a woman and making her pregnant, with a session of very wild and hot sex. If you would help me indulge this fantasy, I can pay you $400 in cash tonite. I am a very very clean while male, recently separated from my wife of 6 years. My current STD test with all negative results is shown below and I can e-mail this to you as well. I am very down-to-Earth, easy going, fun loving, intelligent, professional, love meeting new people. I am looking for a regular provider who is willing to meet with me on a fairly regular basis, or a one-time only fantasy fulfillment experience for a woman who may have this hot little fantasy. Please e-mail me with your picture and lets make this happen now. Hope to hear from you. Don't be afraid, e-mail me now. Let's do something crazy tonite !! Dare to indulge !!!
He did, in fact, include a very small image of of an STD test, which I presume he would forward to any respondent.
My questions:
First, do women often browse Craig's List looking for non-involved fathers for their children?
Second, if they do, would they really be looking in casual encounters??
Third, if this guy is actually meeting up with strange women for some hot, unprotected sex, just how long are his nice, clean STD results going to be trustworthy???
And let's not even talk about the legal entanglements involved in fathering a child!
Men aren't the only ones who write remarkable ads. In the spirit of gender equality, here are a couple of baffling w4m ads from Craig's List:
This one is titled "Picky":
Everyone is too blind to what is to be fortunate, like being handicap. Look around and appreciate what around us. It might be pretty tomorrow, so each of us also. I myself, miss my love at the moment, can others be blind? yes. I'd give anything to have loyal friends right now.
The message here: There's something seriously wrong with me but if I'm lucky, someone won't figure it out until after they've emailed me.
"independent thinker"
are there any thinking men out there? Im looking for men who break away from the american materialistic monoculture, who dream and work toward a better future, environmentalist, tv basher, bike warrior....most importantly simple, honest, hard-working(preferably with his hands), down to earth, and who loves to laugh. I am a moral person and appreciate the gentleman....pic for pic, of course.
I just love ads (from anyone) that start out, "Are there any ______ out there?" Maybe it's just me, but it makes me think this person is gonna be really picky, since usually the blank is filled in by something obvious and easy, like "fun guys" or "hot women". Using that lead-up is like a code saying, "this isn't really what I'm looking for, but this is what I'm going to say because it's socially acceptable."
We all know that I look at Craig's List not just for getting my casual sex needs filled but also for the entertainment value of the many different types of posts out there. This evening's top pick has to be these guys (that link will expire in a week), who write:
My Friends and I want to see your naked pictures and jerk off to them! - mm4w - 24Reply to: pers-117462975@craigslist.org
Hey Ladies! My friends from high school are visiting, and they're from a small town in Maine. When I told them about casual encounters, they freaked out.
Basically, in high school we used to watch a lot of porn together and then jack off to it. Tonight we plan on smoking a jay, and we were hoping you'd all help us with the jerking off part. Send us a naked pic (or why not multiple pics?) and we will all sit around and talk about you, and afterward, print up the hottest 4 pics and jerk off on them. We're into boobs shots more than pussy shots, if you have a lot to choose from.
Wouldn't that turn you on, knowing you were getting a group of old friends off? It should.
we promise not to show anyone your pics, and the best four will get a reply containing a play by play of the evening. the pics will get deleted.
and we don't discriminate, we dont care what you look like, we're in it for the mentality of it. you should be too.bring it on, we'll start rollin that jay.
God, I love the internet. I think this is a total riot. If anyone's inclined to send them a photo, by all means, do so! The anonymous remailing address through CL should work as long as the ad is up.
Tonight, a quick browse of several cities' Craig's List casual encounters section posts brings up four posts within the first screen on each page that are repeats between cities. Perhaps this would be understandable if we were looking at a couple of very nearby cities: New York and Philadelphia, for example, but I looked at Seattle, Los Vegas, Boston and Miami. Obviously, these are spam.
What else do they have in common? They all use all caps in the headline. I didn't even bother to click through to see what content they use to try to get people to respond and thereby subscribe themselves inadvertently to some cam site or another.
I never bother with ads that have their headlines in all caps. Some people seem to think that this will make their ad stand out. I recommend that you stick with catchy headlines and appealing ads to make yourself stand out. Those headlines in all caps? Some of them may well be real, but I assume they're all spam and move on.
One of the things I've enjoyed about CE from the very first day I discovered it is the wealth of entertainment it offers. People post these headlines to try to get my (or your) attention so that we'll click through and read the rest of the ad. I often click on headlines that are clearly not up my alley simply because I must know what the followup is. Sometimes, it's disappointing, like this one from San Francisco's CE board tonight:
Would love to slide my hand in your panties. - m4wAny lady interested ?
This next one, on the other hand... it's priceless:
I like fuckin - m4w - 32Im white and I like fuckin.
I generally try to keep my quoted material to shorter blocks, but this ad is too good not to share:
Here's why MY ad offering you oral sex is different. - m4w - 30
I'll hit the highlights, since there are 38,693 others offering oral sex also:
- My record speaks for itself. All the women I've given head to -- except one or two when I was first starting out, some years ago -- have praised me heavily, unsolicited. Comments along the lines of "guys should learn from you" or "you're the best ever" have not been uncommon. One girl said she'd never been able to come from oral before, and ended up coming three times the first time I went down on her.
- I'm actually enjoyable to look at. Even if a guy isn't actually making love to you, wouldn't it be nice if he had a nice head of thick, black hair, nice green eyes, a face that (I'm told) is enjoyable to look at, nice clean teeth, is in good physical shape, and smelled nice? And I'm 30 -- not too young, not too old.
- I'm intelligent, and some would even say I'm quite funny. Sure, that's not the first thing you look for in someone you're using for extravaginal pleasures, but it's always a nice perk.
- I'm completely respectful. If oral is all you want, that's all you'll get. If you'd like a little attention to the ass as well, no problem. If you'd like to just chat, maybe meet, and leave the door open based on how things feel, that's fine, too. But the point is, you're the boss. This is all about you.
- I'm actually selective. A lot of guys on here don't seem to care whose genitalia is put before them. I, on the other hand, would like to have some kind of rapport with you -- nothing happens unless we get along, are both satisfied with each other's cleanliness, appearance, and presentation, and both feel comfortable that we're in a good, mutually respectful, but most importantly, FUN situation. You also have the comfort of knowing you won't be with some guy who just does this for ANY woman.
- I'm just a normal, socially adjusted, genuinely nice guy. Pretty self-explanatory.
This is something I truly and genuinely love to do. A woman's reactions -- the squirms, the sounds, the scents, the visuals, and of course, the flow of the juices themselves -- it's all the reward I need.
I'm in central NJ, but find myself in NYC and NNJ regularly. Drop me a line -- preferably with a photo -- if you'd like to talk it over. You might find it a refreshing change.
----
Now, let me break down why this ad rocks my socks. First, this guy has a sense of humor. He knows there are loads of other ads out there, and he gives the state of affairs a nod, but he doesn't obsess about it. In fact, throughout his post, you can almost hear the laid-back in his voice. He obviously has a good sense of himself and is comfortable with who he is. This reads like a real person, with a real personality, and who's interested in real people, not cardboard cutouts or fantasy women.
Second, he gives a reasonable resume. He explains that he's good at and enjoys what he does (and I bet he's on reasonable enough terms with at least some of the women in his life that in a pinch, one of them would be willing to vouch for him), and tells you why you might want him to do it to you. He tells you that he's attractive, and then gives you a description that is both quite detailed and tasteful. He smells good? Sign me up!
Third, he tells you a bit about himself: intelligent, respectful, selective and well-adjusted. But you know what? More than just saying these things, he's backing them up: his ad is well-laid-out. He uses complete sentences and spells things right. His tone of voice carries through, and you get a sense of the personality behind the text.
Finally, this raises several issues that I'll be posting about in the future: selectivity, respect and realism.
This ad was posted to the NYC CL CE board. If you're local to him, and this is your thing, you can email him by clicking here. (Yes, I got his permission to use his email address here.) I hope he gets some responses, because, hello.
This is the whole point. We want to get out there and have some fun! In the world of casual sex, women are at a strong advantage, and that advantage swells to epic proportions on Craig's List. A quick browsing of the Casual Encounters section (this week, looking at NYC) shows me the following tasty morsels:
Seeking BJ from younger brooklyn girl - m4w - 35
On the bright side, this guy is clear about what he wants. On the down side, he hasn't set himself apart from the hordes of men who want blowjobs.
This guy won't get any responses. Why? Because although lots of women love to give head, and probably a whole bunch of them live in Brooklyn, he hasn't given a hook in his headline.
What do we know about him? He's selfish: he's focused on my mouth on his cock. He's lazy: he wants a girl from his neighborhood so he can get sucked off in the comfort of his apartment. He's probably a bit of a jerk: he wants a younger girl, who's probably a bit less worldly than those old 30-something hags.
In the text of his ad, he requests that a woman send her stats or pic, but he doesn't provide either of those in his post, nor has he said what kind of woman he's interested in.
Stereotypical guy, probably not very creative in bed, definitely won't guarantee me any action focused on me. Nah.
any girl need help $$ - m4w - 35
This, of course, is the classic post from a fellow who's too lazy to make it happen in the social arena, but who has some weird hangup about paying professionals but doesn't mind paying a "regular girl". These guys keep the pros trolling the CE boards.
NSA SEX TONIGHT!..IM DOWN FOR ANY GIRL!..SERIOUS ONLY! - 27
DOOD! YOUR DOWN FOR ANY GIRL!?? No girl likes to hear that; it's like saying, "I have no taste, so no matter what you look like, I'll do ya, but don't think you're going to be in good company. Oh, and don't expect an ego boost out of it, either." On the bright side, this guy includes two cock shots and two face shots with his ad. They still won't get him laid tonight.
